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female
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anonymous
writes:For starters, there is this guy i like but he's a year younger than me. He's 16 and I am going to be 17 next week. I'm worried that if i ask him out, people will laugh at me because he is younger than me. Also, I'm scared of being rejected because I have never had a boyfriend before because no one had asked me out. I have started to think that I'm not pretty or thin or nice enough. Is there anyway that I can make boys like me? Do I need to lose weight? Im 6'1" and 180 pounds. Is this ok?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys...
just wanted to say thanks for all your help....
turns out that he liked me anyways and he asked me out at a party a few days after i posted the question...
so now wev been going out for nearly 4months and its all going good... and no1 cares either... it was a big confidence boost for me too so thanks to yall for advice and stuff...
xxx
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female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (28 April 2007):
 So what if he is one year younger than you....age is just a number!! My guy is 2 years younger than me, and no has ever laughed at me!!
You are quite tall and your weight sounds appropriate for your height! With that, you don't sound like you are over-weight, not at all. But it is good to get into a exercise routine so you can stay healthy....aerobic exercise is good for stress...even dancing to your fav music is an excellent way to get exercise!!!
Try different make-up, get a new hairstyle, some new clothes will help with the way you feel good about yourself. Every time you look in the mirror, say "I'm beautiful" or something positive! And Keep those negative thoughts and words at bay!!!
One thing I have to add, everyone get rejected a time or two...just keep on...you got your whole life ahead of you! You will succeed just go with the flow!!! Good Luck to you
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): I think you should ask him out because if you don't make the move you'll never know. If he can't see that you like him he's an idiot. Don't worry about being rejected because there's someone out there for everyone and if your meant to be with him then you will. Don't have a bad impression of yourself because everyone is beautiful in their own way and as for your weight you are a perfect weight for your age. So I say go for it girl or you could lose out.
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male
reader, maverick +, writes (28 April 2007):
 Hello you poor thing.
Firstly I want to say I have been in your position throughout high school and college and it really sucked. I totally understand how you feel - now I'm 22 (23 next week) and I've had a lot of time to think about myself and I've improved and gotten better.
I felt I had to write this response because of the other answers given. I get the impression they are saying you should just fling yourself at him ask him out and see what happens. I don't think this will help you. I'm very blunt aren't I?
There is one thing you really need to think about here. LOOKING AFTER NUMBER ONE (that's you!). Let's forget about boyfriends for a moment... In your question you keep portraying yourself in a negative light (I'm not here to argue whether thats justified) - but you do not give the impression that you are unhappy with yourself? When someone keeps up this line of negative thinking it becomes a self-fulfilling preophecy. You will PHYSICALLY become unhappy (body posture and languague are a dead give away) and it will push people away.
Before I carry on I just wanna say, there's nothing wrong with your weight. Go here http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ and enter your height and weight and it will calculate your BODY MASS INDEX - you are 23.7 - you are within the normal weight category for someone of your size.
OK back on track. The most important thing that underpins everything about us is confidence. Being confident attracts people to you and automatically makes you feel better about yourself. Pick up a self confidence help book (I recommend Paul McKenna's Intant Confidence from WHS Smilth or Waterstones) it comes with a 30 min CD. Confidence building is a gradual and deep process so I won't be able to bore you with it now.
Try taking up more hobbies, ice skating, charity work, etc.
Next (this one is tricky when your young) know your body language (this is tied closely with confidence). It maybe worth investing in a body language book. You'd be surprised how much body language plays in communication. Ever wondered why we can spot a 7 year-old lying? That's because when you're young you haven't had enough experience of people to develop your communication skills! The only thing that I can say that would help is smile and make eye-contact. I mean it. Smile. Actually smile at anyone and everyone you meet. It's a great way to make yourself feel better, builds confidence, and smiling is contagious so people will smile back! This does help boost your confidence.
The thing to remember is first and foremost - be happy with yourself. After that other people will be drawn to you.
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female
reader, Lau-sta +, writes (28 April 2007):
 just go for it girl like you said you never had a boyfriend your not going to get one by sitting on your ass (sorry if am been to the point) never let any lad make you think your not worth it.
If he say no he say no but he mite not and he mite say yes you will never know unless you make a move you don't even have to ask him out just let him know you like him tell him the truth as yoy never had a boyfriend before.
you never know what will happen, you will find some one and never think that your not pretty or thin or anything like that coz i will let you in on a little sercert even the thin pretty girls think to them self are am not thin or pretty its just a girl thing.
so get your self up and go for it then let me know how its goes
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): I think 180 pounds at 6-1 is quite standard. Also I don't think it has much to do with how thin, pretty, or nice you are. Well, the "nice" would be a good thing if you have that. Being pretty differs from person to person. Though I believe that there is a general beauty factor, there is still the specific taste that individuals desire.
Like my friend Jon, he likes bigger women with a bit more meat and rounder. Then again, he also like big breasts. For me I can go either or, so long as she has specific attributes that fit my desires. Most of my girlfriends had been quite 'normal' in terms of weight to height ratio. I can't stand overly skinny girls - too frail and too pale is quite gross actually.
Anyway, being laughed at will probably be a common thing. You have to into account that it IS high school and there is no other more prominant place than high school for immature gossip and foolhardy. As for getting rejected, well, we live and we learn through pain. There is a risk for everything we do, even if we choose to never do them.
Your question should not have been "How can I make boys like me?" Instead, your question should have been "How can I accept myself for who and what I am?" You have signs of insecurity that usually wouldn't bold too well when you enter a relationship with someone.
Another thing about asking us if 180 pounds is okay or not shouldn't have been asked to us. I'll ask you instead - Do you feel that 180 pounds at 6-1 is okay for you?
If you insist in losing weight or toning up your body, do it because you want to feel more healthy and don't do it solely because some kid rejected you.
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