A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was in a terrible relationship that ended a little over a year ago. The guy never wanted to have anything to do with my kids--I waited thinking things would eventually click between them, but it never did. Now I am dating a really great guy (for a month, now), and I thought that things were going great between him and my kids. My son (age 19) seems to have really taken a liking to him. Yesterday,my son called me and asked if he could stop by this guy's house. He had one of his friends with him, they stopped by and picked me up first. We only visited abt a half hour (everything was fine, it was a nice visit). Later, he called me and said that his kids didn't like the friend my son had with him (his kids weren't even home at the time). He then said that my son wouldn't be welcome if he had that friend with him again. I feel a panic--and that maybe I need to run from this relationship. I guess because of how my last relationship was in regards to my kids. Do you think I'm overreacting? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (26 August 2009):
 I think you might be overreacting just a little. I mean you have only been with this guy for a month, and getting used to another person's kids can take some time. Especially for men. It sounds like your boyfriend and your kids get along normally under the condition that it's just you and them. Maybe he really didn't like this friend of your son's. It's obvious that he lied about it being his kids that didn't like the guy, but maybe he didn't want to be mean about it. Anyway, what I would do is I would wait it out a little bit. You haven't been with this guy for long, and this sounds like the only instance in which things became uncomfortable, and it wasn't even on account of your son being around. It was apparently his friend. Did you give your boyfriend the heads up that you three were coming to visit? Did you tell him that your son was bringing a friend? Maybe he wasn't made aware before hand. So if everything is good otherwise, and he is getting along with your kids, I'd keep seeing him. Just keep your eyes and ears open, because kids definitely come first.
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