A
male
age
36-40,
*CC
writes:Hi, my girlfriend of 14 months broke up with me a month ago. I acted like an arrogant so and so.. and deserved to be dumped. As I wouldn't stop talking to my ex. When she left me i saw the error of my ways and stopped talking to my ex. I told her that I have changed and would be different. But she said she had fallen out of love with me.We kept minimal contact over the month... culminating in her sending me an email to say she didn't want contact anymore. This was a week ago. She called me last night to say she missed sex with me and wanted to know if I wanted to hook up.We hooked up last night and everything was good. She said she misses me, but wants to be single. But I'm still madly in love with this girl and have told her I want her back.She has been kissing another guy, but his situation is complicated as he has a kid. It looks like a rebound... as she wouldn't be sleeping with me if she cared about him enough.I want to marry this girl. But I'm not sure what the best thing to do is, as I don't want to be used for sex and then tossed to the side. I'm lost as to what to do, as I am not contacting her anymore and waiting for her to contact. Part of me still wants to see her and have sex, but the other half knows that this is a bad idea as she is viewing it differently to me. I'm not sure what the best thing to do is, in order to get her back. Please advise :), thanks.
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male
reader, CCC +, writes (18 January 2011):
CCC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had a conversation with her tonight and she told me that she slept with her ex a week after we broke up. Part of me is angry, but the other part doesn't really care as we weren't together and she said she did it to spite me but regretted it straight after.
We agreed to not speak to each other for a while, as the situation is unbearable at the moment.
The stupid thing is I told her I would forgive her and take her back. But she still wants to e single.
A
male
reader, CCC +, writes (17 January 2011):
CCC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. I agree with you, I don't feel like I am owed another chance. I just know I have changed and know I can give her everything she wants.
Her reluctance to walk away just confirms this. It is a confusing situation. I just hope she comes to a decision and either comes back or moves away. The constant worrying and questioning what she is thinking, is unhealthy.
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A
male
reader, Amph  +, writes (17 January 2011):
She doesn't trust you any more, man, so right or wrong, you must deal with it. Look if she gives you a real chance in a short time. Otherwise forget her, save the lesson for the future and go on. Man's word is the most important thing, you cannot waste it without paying a lot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Yes it is a bad idea - if you have strong feelings for her. She seems to have made it clear that she doesn't want a relationship. You are clinging on to what little contact she is prepared to give you, ie using you for sex. Very sad. So you are only going to get hurt sooner or later. It is very hard to turn your back on someone you care for, but ultimately you are saving yourself the pain that would inevitably come.
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