A
female
age
30-35,
*ess1478
writes:Okay so on Wednesday I saw my ex out at the same club, he text me seeing where I was and then we ended up talking at the bar for about 10 minutes. Was all good, general talk...seeing how each other was etc. He brought me a drink to 'break the ice' then I had to leave. Once I had left he text me saying it was very nice to see me. We continued to text for another hour or so and I mentioned meeting up. He was unsure but then said I could go see him now. I didn't though as it was about 4am.Last night we saw each other out again and as we cleared the air on Wednesday we ended up talking quite a lot, by ourselves at the bar and sitting down. The conversation was again just general stuff. I said I had to go and he said he would walk me but I had to leave with the friends I came with. The whole journey home he was texting me asking where I was etc.When I got back to my house he rang me asking what I was doing and saying he was just at his friends (10 seconds from me) so I said he could chill at mine for a bit if he wanted. He did...and we ended up having sex and falling asleep in the same bed. The strange thing was it didn't really feel wrong. We had both had a bit to drink the night before so I was worried he would wake up completely regretting it but he didn't. We laid there talking for a bit and having breakfast in bed together watching a film. He kept hugging me and pulling me closer and it felt so natural. As we were laying down together he says that this is wrong and messed up and he likes me and everything but doesn't trust me. (Which is an issue from over a year ago) he said when his on his own he thinks about all the bad things. Which obviously isn't good but when we're together he forgets them.So how can I get him to trust me and stop thinking about all the bad things of the past? Which to be honest on my part isn't really that bad of things. Obviously he still feels something for me.He said he would text me later but I'm not holding my breath on that. I can imagine all his housemates are going to be pretty judgemental about this and tell him to forget it ever happened. I don't want to look desperate or clingy either so want to wait for him to contact me but the worrying thing is..what if he doesn't? I know people will think that his then not worth it but obviously I think that he is. This is all so confusing right now...my mind is all jumble
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): I would not contact him. Wait and see if he gets in touch. The problem is you could easily slip into the world of us meeting up and having sex because you still have a connection but things went wrong. You would only get the worst of both worlds. I guess you want to be with him or without him, no fuzzy middle 'no mans land'. Once something is broken, is is difficult to glue it back together again, maybe you should move on.
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