A
age
30-35,
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writes: A while ago me and my boyfriend broke up and we decided to be mates with privileges, it was all good until we actually had sex, he got like half way through it and then said “what are we?” and I said “mates?” and he stopped? Eh, don’t think he’s got the point of this. We’ve stopped having sex, we’re just mates, or so I thought, he’s been starting to be protective, saying like “if I see you with another guy I’ll kill him” and when I say I’m single he says “no you’re not, you’re just stubborn.” But now I feel really bad, because about a minute ago we were doing sex texting, just something for fun and I wasn’t into it at all but didn’t want to start any sh*t with him, and he was really into it but at the end of a text he mentioned killing any other guy I’d be with, I know it was just part of his fetish thing but I switched off my phone. I feel bad because he doesn’t know what he’s done or anything. :( Did I do the right thing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): It sounds to me like your relationship with him is turning abusive. I think it's best for you to get away from him as soon as possible before something bad happens to you. Him threatening you like that is not a good thing and is not a good or safe position for you to be in. And I definitely think you did the right thing, you should not be around an abusive person.
I don't think talking to him would do anything to stop the threats, so I think your safest route is to cut off all contact with him
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (25 July 2009):
sounds like your mate has fallen for you.
he can threaten all he wants but ultimately its your life and you have to do what makes you happy.
you need to explain to him honestly that it was just sex and nothing more and you are entitled to have other men in your life.
if he continues his threats cut ties with him ,
he sounds like he has obsessive tendancies.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (25 July 2009):
I'd let him know that he can't keep speaking like that because eventually you'll have a new guy, and he can't control you. Personally, I'd stop speaking to him all together so he can get over you. I'd be worried about him getting abusive and even more controlling. You should speak to a guidance counsellor.
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