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female
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anonymous
writes: I am self-conscious about my body, and my boyfriend says he doesn't care, but my old ex (who I was physical with) was very critical about my body and said I was too fat and basically made me feel ugly. Things are completely different with my new guy because he's considerate, gentle,and always tells me I'm beuatiful, but I feel as though if he was to really see my naked body, he'd say the same thing or make me feel the same way--does anyone know how I can get over this or how I can communicate this fear to my bf without freaking him out? Do you think I should show him my body--not like full nudity, but show him like my stomach and arms and neutral places I feel aren't attractive? I feel as though if he wants to break up with me because of my body, I'd rather want to now than spend all this time with him and then have him see me and say he doesn't want to be with me. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2006): first...a body is a body.( As long as you aren't bad in every aspect.) Weight isn't much. You'r a girl, you have boobs and a vagina, and that's what matters. He's not with you just to be with you, of all the girls he knows, he chose YOU, so take that with pride. And let him know, communication in a relationship is key, that you get self-concious so you might need encouragement. Tell him you like to get physical, but your concious slows it down, then he'll really understand. But please try hard to be happy, emotionally and phyically.
A
female
reader, Sarah C- happy to help +, writes (8 February 2006):
I have a boyfriend and i used to be exactly like you i was very conscious about my figure. If your boyfriends said that he likes your body then you need to believe him he wouldnt be with you if he didnt like it. Believe your boyfriend because if you dont then the relationship wont go anywhere, he obviously cares alot about you. You can get over it by forgeting you ex, he is your ex for a reason and just talk to your new boyfriend about your insecurities because he can help you with them. Just show him your body when your ready, the worst thing you can do is rush into it. If he breaks up with you because of your body then he is not a man in any way, shape or form. Hope everything goes ok, good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006): just take things slowly with your new bf and you will slowly start to relax and feel more comfortable. Your confidence has been knocked by your ex you dont deserve to have those kind of comments made about your body at all, no one is perfect, so no one should put you down, esp. someone who apparently loves you. Many of us have a problem with nudity for one reason or another, but just remember we are all individuals and we all look completely different, thats what makes us special. Your bf chose you for a reason so i am sure you will be fine xx
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female
reader, xxhoney69xx +, writes (8 February 2006):
 wen i was in this situation at the beginning of my current relationship i started just making jkes about it like 'oi dnt touch my fat!!!' and ma bf just laughed and sed he like havin sumthin 2 hold on 2, us girls are more paranoid about our bodies and past experiences aside men usually dnt really care and are happy when you are so never be ashamed of your body and just enjoy life xxx
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A
female
reader, chrissymarie +, writes (8 February 2006):
 ive been down that road befor and it is a hard thing to get over when your ex tells you those things, but this is what i did and i hope it can help you.
i sat my new boyfriend down and explained to him that i dont like my body, and i explained to him why and he told me that i have a perfect body and he dont care what anyone says, but even after that i didnt let him see me fully un clothed, i took it little by little, to get over my fear and he loves my body...
what you explained about ur new boyfriend i think you could show him a little at a time and not have to worrie about him saying stuff about it......
and if he wants to break up with you because of your body let him, befor it gets to serious, never let a man bring you down about anything!!!! you will find someone who will love you for who you are not what they want you to be, but i am sure if you sat down with your new boyfriend and explain to him he will understand well good luck i hope i helped you....
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