A
female
age
36-40,
*uga
writes:Right my Ex boyfriend is in the army and he had a habbit of picking me up and putting me down when he felt like it. We split in December last year (just gone) and he was going to propose to me on new years. We dated for 3 and a half years. However after splitting with me a couple of weeks later he was engaged to another girl and it left me heart broken, because i found out from someone else. Not so long ago she cheated on him, they are not together and he wants me back. He still texted me when he was with her and recently told his Mum he had made a big mistake in leaving me. Is he on the rebound from her? And what do you think i should do? I am currently with someone but my heart lies with him however im affraid of getting hurt! Also i dont want to hurt the person im with!! please help XxX
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Hi hun, you answer your own question already when you wrote that 'he had a habit of picking me up and putting me down when he felt like it'. Don't look at him through rose tinted glasses - if he was engaged to someone else so soon after you broke up then you can safely assume that he was seeing her before you broke up. Also, he was texting you while he was her, is that the sort of man you want? Don't cause yourself any more pain - didn't he hurt you enough before? You have got over it and moved on now - if I were you, I would leave it be xx
A
male
reader, Guitarboy  +, writes (28 August 2007):
 This man sounds like someone who has serious co-dependent issues. He panics at the idea of being alone. He jumps from one relationship to another without ever really knowing what he wants or needs. I would not go back to him. He needs to spend some time alone to figure out who he is. He will be no good to anyone until he grows up a bit.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 August 2007):
 You have to go with your heart babe, who knows if what ever you decide to do will be the right thing but sometimes if we want something we have to take a risk.
Could you ever trust him again? because that would be something you needed to do if you don't think that it is a possibility there you don't go there.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hi
I would steer well clear of him if i was in your shoes. An ex is an ex for a reason and hes basically just trying to get back with what he knows (you)
Its 'safe' for him.
You can do better than that hun.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): i'm very intersested in other people's problems to help them and help with my own, i've never ben on this site before but your problem stuck out. first off, everyone knows about the boys in the army's reputation as i'm sure you have. It sounds like your ex wants to know he has the power like most men. the fact that you were together so long and he was thinking about proposing but after three weeks with this other girl he just did, i dont think he knows what he wants, or he just wants something to fall back on. personaly i don't think you should waste your time on him as it sounds he wont be reliable in the future and you will end up just getting hurt. you deserve someone who respects you and your feelings and who can't think he can walk all over you all the time, your still young have fun and think about yourself more. I always say look after number one, thats you and it's true. I hope you find happiness and i hope i have helped. x
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