A
female
age
41-50,
*rbrowneyes
writes:So I have an ex that was emotionally abusive and still is to this day. It's been since July of 2008 that we have broken up and have a 3 yr old daughter. After we broke up he turned into a rage freak, threatened me, harassed me, etc. I had to get dcf involved for the safety of my daughter. Off and on he would take my daughter but when he got mad at me he would not see her weeks at a time. So this went on for a while. Then he said, "keep her until we go to court". Harassment continued, I changed my no and didn't let him know where i lived but gave him mediator contact info if he ever wanted to see her and got his emotions under control. Almost a year goes by and he finally contacts me because I contacted him wondering wth! DCF had to garnish his paycheck for me to get child support, every since then he's now wanting to get her. Now he is trying to get her returned back to the state and is expecting to take full custody until I return back! He lives with his brother, 2 bedroom apt, no clothes, etc for her. She barely knows him and see's my fiance as daddy. How can I get the courts to disagree with his needs?! I will die if I loose her to an abusive person like him.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Please see an attorney for some legal advice. We're not legal experts here and you wouldn't want to lose your daughter by following someone's well-intentioned but wrong advice, now would you? Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Well I have a phone recording but found out that in the state of Fl it's illegal to record someone without their knowledge. BS! But I have texts of his threats, him always cussing, calling me all types of names, and him admitting that when I told him I was leaving the state, he said he doesn't care. I have pictures of the physical abuse from back when we were breaking up, etc. He's just an awful person. He's acting all nice to me right now because he doesn't want me to bring anything out in court I'm sure. What else could I get to prove it to them. I'm doing a phone hearing so it sucks I can't hand all these things to the judge, I may have to fax them.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 July 2010):
I have the feeling that with his record the court will side with you anyway. You won't lose her to him. But, there is no harm in you making provisions. So, do the following things.
1 - Get a Dictaphone or something, and record every phone call.
2 - Get all records you can about him being abusive and show the harassment.
3 - Ensure that the court is aware of his living conditions.
4 - Get all the DCF records that show how he has not paid.
You will need all the proof you can get. But I am sure this is something that won't come to pass. You'd have to have a lunatic judge to send her back to him.
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (23 July 2010):
 Is it possible to have a quick wedding with your fiance instead of waiting? To be married you really just need to go to the courthouse and have your name changed. The wedding and all that you can just do later. Your fiance could adopt your daughter and you could work with a lawyer to get your ex's fatherly right permanently revoked. You already have proof that he is a bad father do to the fact that the state had to get involved to get child support for you. You've got a winning case.
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