A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello all..i really need some help. i am in terrible situation.i had my first girl friend (for 1 year) and we had to breakup for some reason and after that i really didnt want to get into a serious relationship. i met this lady in club who is 15 years older than me . she was very nice , shes a divorced woman and had 2 kids . she wanted to have a one night stand and me too but later we started liking eachother and i was all alone in my life very disappointed after the first breakup. i have been with this lady for 2 years now , never cheated with her. took care of their kids even though its very odd to be in the place as iam only 10 years older than the first kid.i put my heart i was very loving and caring. she always enjoyed my company. but soon things changed. she started bossing me. i went out one night to my friends house for a beer and she fought with me and for the past one year i didnt even step out of house without her.i took care of all the things in their house , for their kids. she is nice to me too. she likes goign out with me nice to me and cooks for me. but she has her rules. now because of my own personal family reasons i had to move on. i mentioned this to her , initially she is ok\but she is acting very strange.she would always say that shes never happy which hurts me alot , she calls me a lier although i was very truthful to her. i moved out of her house 2 months back after so much of personal torture (as i got used to that life). and if she see s me outside on the road, she calls me and expects that i need to tell her that. but she goes to clubs on her own and calls me a lier . if i ask somethhings she bluntly lies or will not accept. she threatens me in her words that she will come back into my life and destroys it . she has whole bunch of photos with both of us.even from starting sometimes i find phone #'s of my friends written on papers, my drivers license pics in her phone, credit card pics. she calls me and cries and blames me ,, and i dont know or iam not able to just ignore that and cutoff the phone as somewhere in my mind i still like her.she is a very revengful person . iam just afraid that if iam gettign married in future she will take her revenge as she kinda hinted that . she is talking like a very cruel person sometimes.i want to move on in my life as the whole family thing of her life is too much for me . i tried to make her feel good empotinally anf financially . i told her to move on but shes still having those expectations on me and torturing me .what should i do .. im in US i have no one here. iam all alone and scared . can i approach police or lawyer iam new to the country and iam very scared.
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divorce, move on, moved out, one night stand, revenge Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2012):
 Stop talking to her. No contact what so ever. Either pay to block her number or look online for a free app for your cellphone. (certain types get those, you would have to search online by the brand of your phone)
Cancel your Credit card and have new ones made. She can totally much with your credit if you don't.
If she starts to threaten or stalk you, I would try the police, she sounds a little unstable.
The sooner you "mentally" walk away to sooner you can put this behind you.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (30 April 2012):
 I think what you need to do is call your phone provider (the people that you pay money to operate you phone) and get them to block her number. That way she cannot call you anymore. I know you still care about her but this is the best thing to do - she needs to stop speaking to you in order to move on. So yes it will be hard, but it is the best thing for her in the long run.
If you see her do not speak to her, cross to the other side of the road if you have to.
I think if she is threatening you then you can go to the police - it sounds like you have good grounds to get a restraining order. It is also a worry that she has your friend's numbers, your drivers license etc so when you go to the police, tell them everything you have said here and see what they think. Dont call 911 though - this isnt an emergency. Find a phone number for your local police department or visit your local police station and talk to someone there.
You said you visited a friend's house for a beer - that means you do at least know someone in the US so talk to him/her and get some advice from them. If you have a job and your workplace has a HR or legal department try asking them for advice, I know this is personal matters but it will be affecting you so I'm sure they wont mind pointing you in the right direction.
But the most important thing is to stop talking to her all together - the police wont take you seriously unless you have blocked her phone number and have stopped speaking to her. If you carry on talking to her then they will blame you for leading her on - you need to do everything you can to stop her from contacting you before you speak to the police.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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