A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i'm 29 years old and just broke up with my 31 year old boyfriend . He was always putting me down telling me I wasen't good enough that all his ex girlfriends were smarter had good jobs and were prettier. He wouldn't even let me meet his kids said I wasent good enough. We even took a vacation and I got stuck payiing for it all. I don't know why I stayed with him for as long as i did . I really never had a boyfriend before and I guess I feel I will never do better. Anyways my problem is he used to sort of pressure me into taking naked pics he said he loved me and i wanted to make him happy. So I did it and now he is hacking in my fb account and saying he will post them. I got asked out on a date by another guy and he got mad . I dumped him 6 months ago and he still calls. I had to delete my account but he still has his and has a bunch of girls on it they are dressed kinda inapropriate but they are prettier than me and he laughs and says he can get better girls than me. He wol't leave me alone and it's not fair I have to give up my fb and he has one. I called the cops and they said because he lives in another state ."pne away from me" that they can't due anything. What should I do just ignore him and make a new fb page and let him put up the pics. Or just never have fb again ? The thing is I don't know if he will put the pictures up ethier way but I am so ashamed and feel dirty. I have never done something like that and don't want anyone to know. Thanks for reading
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): OP it's very easy to protect yourself online and completely block people. I would reactivate your old FB profile and just block him on it. He didn't hack your FB OP he probably just knows the password so you need to set your privacy settings to the maximum settings also use that double security feature that means you need to get a text message to be able to access it, block all mutual friends too and block any profile he tries to use to cntact you. Change all the passwords to all your online accounts too and all your security questions to passwords and not things he would be able to guess.
As far as nude pictures goes OP, who cares? Seriously. No one you know would care all that much about it, strangers aren't exactly going to do anything with them all they represent is a piece of power he has over you that you're letting him have. I'd have no problem with nude pictures of me being circulated, we're all born nude OP there a billion nude pictures of far more beuatiful people than either me or you OP, no one is going to care if pics of you nude go online. Look I'm not trying to dampen the significance of this in your life but trying to show you it's the significance you've attached to those pics which gives him so much power over you. Take that away from him and free yourself from him.
Why are you even in contact with this asshole at all? It's easy block people, it's easy to report them to sites where they are harassing you.
OP the thing I find with men and women in your position is that they feed the other person. They respond to messages, they react by quitting, getting upset and as much as they complain about it happening it's exceptionally easy to put a stop to it. I have one female friend who is in a similar situation to you and it's all her fault that he still contacts her, she keeps on reading his messages and willingly let them upset her, all she has to do is delete without reading but she doesn't and then feels it necessary to respond too. I basically told her to remove him from her life or shut about all the bad shit he does because she must actually like all the attention or she wouldn't keep playing his game.
OP why do you feel ashamed and dirty? It's just your naked body, what the hell is shameful about that?
Don't ever buy into this idea that a naked woman is somehow a dirty slut, that nudity or sexuality are somehow dirty or something along those lines. Don't ever let that take your power from you. Feel dirty about having your privacy invaded? Again don't be OP, they're just pictures of a naked woman they can't have any negative impact on your life whatsoever other than the significance you give them mentally, so take that away. Get rid of it, you took them they're out there and people would not view you badly for them but would definitely view him badly for posting them.
Personally I would totally advise ruining his entire online existence but I don't even think he's harrassing you here, I think some part of you likes this drama or you'd stop him outright from doing so, it's exceptionally easy to do.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 October 2012):
 Block and delete him from your FB and the rest of your life. Block his number.
IF he puts the pictures up you CAN contact Facebook and they CAN take the pictures down. Also if he's hacked your FB more then once, you can contact FB and see if THEY can do anything about that.
My advice with the FB - either DELETE IT - or use another person's computer to make a NEW email address reset the passwords and email address for FB. He might have a logger on your computer, so you might even want to consider taking your computer (or phone) in and have it checked out.
And when you make a PW - don't make it obvious. Mix numbers and Letters and maybe a few signs/symbols $%# like those.
However, there isn't much else you can do. You CONSENTED to take the pictures and you LET him keep them when you two broke up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): You can put a facebook an make it private foryourself and your true friends and family. He cant put nudity pic on facebook because is not permitted, and fb will take them out. If he does it he is a jerk, ignore him... And if he does it just explain it to people... Many girlfriends do the same, you are not getting money from pic, etc, so dont feel ashamed..
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (6 October 2012):
 Ok first things first, stop talking to him. He still calls so ignore his calls or have him blocked. You broke up 6 months ago and he's an asshole, there is no reason to be in any contact with him and he shouldn't know if you are dating or not.
Now about Facebook. It's not the end of the world to not have an account but you want one so your ex bf isn't going to stop you. Make a new account, block him from it, and add only people who are close friends and you can trust, ie- not his friend that you met one time. Since he is blocked immediately he won't be able to look for you, your name won't come up to him, he will think your account is still deleted.
As for the naked pictures there isn't a whole lot you can do... Hopefully if he does do something as stupid as post them on his Facebook page the info will get back to you and the police and even facebook CAN do something then. Don't feel so ashamed, plenty of girls trusted a man and had this happen. You were in a relationship and you loved and trusted him. But now you learned and won't make that mistake again. Don't send naked pictures to anyone.
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