A
female
age
30-35,
*am_fma3
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years. During the first years of our relationship, I wasn't treated the best way. He would go out with his friend to bars every Friday, we were rarely together. Once I found on his phone a picture of his hands on another girls bottom with a group of friends. he insists it was nothing, but deep down I think something could have happened. He would go out with out me. He would always be busy to make time for me. I guess he dated me when he wanted. We started dating young (I was 18 he was 19) I understand he wanted to live his "youth years"I had VERY low self esteem. But about 1 year ago I have opened my eyes to all of this, and started going out with my friends, having my hobbies. Started having some self worth. But I can't help but feel like an idiot for putting up with all of that. If it were now I wouldn't have put up with half the stuff he did. With half the stuff he put me through.He started seeing he was losing me. And got his act together. He is very loving, caring, and now wants to be with me. I LOVE him, he was my first love and even though he treated me badly in the past I really do love him. He has changed. But I can't help but feel resentful for the way he treated me! I hate this feeling! I don't know what to do! He has been a great boyfriend now! He has changed into the man I want to be with. But I hate the past feeling! Sometimes (which is normal we need our time alone) he wants to go have some drinks with his friends, but i can't help but feel resentful. I hate this! I wish I didn't feel like this!HELP! What can I do to make this go away?
View related questions:
self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 October 2012):
 There is nothing wrong feeling the way you do. There is a built in mechanism in you to protect you from getting hurt again. He is a good boyfriend now but what happens when you have a fall out again can you trust that he won't go out, drink and pour out his heart to his female friend? Trust has to be there in the relationship. I don't blame you for resenting him but if the resentment never goes away, don't be hard on yourself. It can mean that you have to get rid of the relationship that's not working for you anymore. It means you can allow yourself to open up to a better man who can put your mind at ease. Only time could tell if your boyfriend is wising up and seeing that his habits are immature and hurtful, and that he is growing out of it and developping healthier interests that benefit your relationship.
|
