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*elshwind
writes: I am a 27 year old guy and 2 yrs ago I was dumped by my 8 months pregnant girlfriend after 5 yrs of being together. She told me there was no chance of getting back together. So after 2 months of trying it was time to give up. About 4 months after the relationship had ended i met a new girl She is stunning and funny and we get on really well, but since we started seeing each other 20 months ago, my ex has been to her house telling her she is a homewrecker.She has argued with her mum and dad and also with mine.Now I'm getting the blame. I know sometimes its hard for my girlfriend to be in a relationship with me at times with me having a daughter now, but I did tell her from the start. I think she feels that she is in a 3 way relationship with me and my ex and feels left out.We have spoken time and time again about this and she says she needs time to think. I've told her that she is the one for me and that i would marry her anyday of the week and she knows how much i love her - I tell her all the time. The thing is I think my ex is driving her away with threats and phoning me when she wants, knowing my girl is there with me.Is there anything you can suggest or advice u can give me please? I'm currently seeking legal advise but i dont think that will stop her from ruining my life.
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 I am sorry to hear this, but I am sure your new girlfriend is trying to be as understanding as possible, she sounds really nice.
Maybe you could move away from the area and change your phone number, this will show your girlfriend that you are willing to do anything.
I am glad you are taking legal action. It should only be really used as a last resort, but I feel it is definitely warranted in these circumstances.
I do agree though that your ex was playing games with you, which have backfired. I think this is why she is so bitter, she probably expected you to grovel and come crawling back.
I am glad to hear you are constantly reassuring your present girlfriend, this is what she needs.
Very best of luck to you both, my heart goes out to you.
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female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (24 August 2006):
 I feel for you I really do. I think that she wanted you all along and was enjoying you chasing her. She didn't expect you to give up and meet someone else, when you did she realised that her game playing went too far. Now she is desperate to get back with you. This whole situation is very unfair on your present girlfriend, you and your baby with your former girlfriend. I am glad that you are seeking legal advise as it is the right thing to do. You have to keep reassuring your present girlfriend that she is the one for you. I really hope things work out for you in the end Good luck
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male
reader, guardian87  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Okay, ur past gf, jealous (:P).
Listen, tell her to back off. and if that doesnt work, then maybe a restraining order is needed. This is almost like what happened with my ex-girlfriend (although she was never pregnant)
As for your current girlfriend, talk to her more about dealing with her. shes going through as much pain as you r cuz of ur pain-in-the-ass ex. You two need to figure out a way of either coping with this and making adjustments so that this problem would not happen as much, or you need to get a new phone line for everyone else to call and having ur ex not know it.
Legal action is definatley neccessary in this case, i believe. But ask ur ex this: if she was completely over u, y is she still bugging the hell out of u and y is she threatening ur gf. then, tell her off. seriously, enough is enough.
Best of luck to you and i hope u and the love of your life make it through this!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): It sounds like your current gf loves you and is trying hard to cope with this problem as much as you. But there is nothing that can be said to reassure your gf that the ex will stop haunting your life. Let's talk about this ex gf. Have you gone to the police and reported your ex for harassment?? Your ex gf is wrong to be doing this and she sounds like a territorial, selfish, deluded woman. I think she has deep emotional problems and needs some counseling for those problems. No one has the right to lash out with such meaness at you, your current gf, her parents and your parents. It's time to nip this in the bud. Like the other aunts suggested a restraining order against your ex, is required. She has no right to be harassing you or your gf. Your lives are now separate and you have the freedom and right to live your life, peacefully. The biggest heartbreak and concern in all this, is your little girl. Are you sure you want your daughter influenced by a Mother who is clearly acting deluded? Are you prepared to do what it takes to protect her?. I hope for the healthy, happy emotional well-being of this lovely child, your ex gf can keep her pain and anger at you, underwraps.
In the future, I suggest you keep any and all communication with your ex to an absolute minimum....and lets hope and seriously pray that time, will indeed heal this wound she is carrying around. It going to be hard, but turn off your emotions when it comes to her. People like your ex gf are in fact-troubled souls and they prey on other people's empathy, pity. For now until legal actions are in effect, your only viable coping strategy is to ignore your ex. But do...Alert law enforcement agencies to any misbehaviour, violence, or harassment. File charges and have restraining orders issued. But, otherwise, try to avoid any interactions with her...keep it to a minumum. At this point, she is lacking empathy and compassion, norms and morals. You can't negotiate with your ex gf and you can't strike a bargain with her. You can't reform, cure, or recondition her..she has to seek counselling for this on her own. And please...I pray-protect your child from harm's way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): what kind of legal advice are you currently seeking? the only thing i know to tell you is to potentially think of getting a restraining order placed on her. i know that may seem a little harsh or over the top, but if you don't want to lose this woman who you now love, i'd recommend it. because apparently she won't stop with you just verbalizing it to her. anyway, good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): Maybe your ex is jealous that you're in a new relationship. She shouldn't be, though, as you were trying to get back together with her for two whole years, and inevitably you'd give up and find someone else. I suggest talking to your ex about it, not quite sure what will happen there but if she refuses to stop her childish behaviour, try to make her see that she's ruining your life, your girlfriend's life and probably her own by obsessing about you and your new relationship. If she doesn't stop, legal advice is probably one of the only solutions. Best of luck with it.
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A
female
reader, Ferooza +, writes (23 August 2006):
you need to sit your ex down and really give her a talking to, this behaviour is unacceptable and the way you discribe her it seems like she is a little unstable. you clearly love your new women and she needs to understand this. if your ex uses your daughter as a tool then she has no leg to stand on. as she is practically stalking you and your new lady which she can get into a lot of trouble for and your daughter taken away. seeking legal advice is a good idea and prehaps you and your new lady should take out a restraining order against her this will stop her from contacting you and upsetting you both.
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