A
female
age
41-50,
*unnamuck
writes:hey every1 ..my ex broke up with me 7 months ago during the duration of the breakup weve slept togther on a few occasions... to him it was a friends with benifits situation but to me it always felt like more ..im still madly in love with him and cant seem to get over him.. at times i think he doesnt really know what he wants even though he says hes over me and all that .. action speak louder than words .. 2 weeks ago he was texting me wanting me to sleep with him i didnt though because it was hurting me sleeping with him .... a week later hes in a relationship which is a long distance one .. when i found this out i was so gutted he posted it on facebook and every1 was asking me if i had seen it ... it hurts so much to hear that the love of my life has found someone else ,, i txt him the other day telling him how hurt i am cos of what he has done and letting my emotions take control .. it wasn't the nicest message but it had to be said cos i've been so nice to him after everything he did .. he didn't reply 4 a few days but when he did it was at 1:00am he cracked it at me saying that i'm full of shit and that it hurt him with what i said to him. i had enough of his shit so i messaged him to say i wanted my shit back cos i've waited so long 4 them back so i decided i had enough .. he told me to come over and get them so i did .. when i was there he was asking me y i said that he was an asshole and i told him he hurt me and shit.. any way he kept saying that he's in the relationship and that she is his future but he also said it's not a serious relationship cos its long distance and stuff ..this was killing me inside him telling me this was absolute torture but i kept a cool head and just listened.. things started to get really weird because he was saying that if he wasnt in the relationship he would sleep with me and he was saying that i'm very attractive and have a great body and all this shit .. i didnt know what to say so i just stood there cos it was sooo weird him saying that .. he was telling me how much he didnt want to dump me because he felt really comfortable with me coz we were both right into sport and stuff ... he told me i was the best gf he has had and that he was thinking of marrying me but then it went bad .. anyway it was getting late so i got my stuff and was goin to go home when i was walking out to my car he was putting his arm around me and stuff.(weird) then he grabbed me and started cuddling me and saying that if he wasnt in the relationship he would go me and asked me if i went inside would i do anything and im like hell no ur in a relationship and i hate cheaters i wouldnt do that ever.... then he was like as if u wouldnt do anything and hes like u wouldnt be the 1 cheating i would be im like no then hes like ohh thats good cos i wouldnt anyway but i couldnt believe it at all i just didnt know what to do i couldnt beieve i was hearing this ... he put his arms around me and started to cuddle me again then he kisssed my fore head and said goodbye .. to me it seems like hes unsure about his feelings i don't know if im reading into things but i get that feeling.. if any one could give me some advice or opinions that would be great thanks 4 listening
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female
reader, Hel_82  +, writes (10 May 2009):
I agree you sound like a really nice girl and you don't need an asshole like that in your life.
I went through something similar with my ex, only I moved in with him as friends 2 months after we broke up. Big mistake as now I'm in the same boat as you, he's seeing someone else but doesn't want me to move out.
Just remember you're not alone in this kind of situation and men do play mind games to get what they want, so just walk away while you have the chance. It'll hurt but get your friends together and find a new hobby you can take up together. It'll help you get over him and who knows you might meet the man of your dreams and he just might actually cesreve to be in a relationship with you.
Good luck hon xxx
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Listen after reading your message to us I feel that he wants the best of both worlds and he is a PLAYER, pure and simple.
Don't lower yourself to his level - at the end of the day cheating is cheating and even though he says you are not the one who would be cheating you are the other person who would be sleeping with him behind his current gf's back, it doesn't matter whether she is a long distance gf or not, you wouldn't like it.
He is trying to say anything to get round you for sex, don't do it.
He is a weasel and if he loved you so much in the first place then he would still be in a relationship with you. Move on and find someone who wants YOU and ONLY YOU.
He had his chance and he wants variety so I would not be able to trust someone like him as he probably tries to get sex from whoever will give it to him, I doubt he is a very careful guy either so he could be someone who sleeps with someone without any protection so don't put yourself anywhere near someone like that. Value yourself on a much higher level sweetheart.
Walk away with your head held high.
There is definitely a guy out there who will treat you the way you deserve. Don't settle for second best, it never works.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 May 2009):
 I think the idea that he can persuade you to sleep with him flatters his ego. You are not in a good relationship. Get away from him. I don't think he can change because he now thinks he can act how he likes and you will make excuses for him. It's hard but wake up!
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