A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I fell deeply in love with my fwb. To this day i don't know how he felt about me but he told me he really liked me and didn't just want me for sex. He gave loads of hints that he liked me but now i see he was most likely lying to me. Anyway, he hurt me badly when i found out he was playing the field. We stopped talking for a while. But when he started contacting me i stupidly started to see him again. I kick myself for being so foolish. But what's done is done.Anyway, i am putting myself through torture just seeing him for sex when i am so in love with him. I just got back from his now and i've realized,enough is enough. This can't go on, im allowing myself to feel so much pain and i just feel so misreable, unwanted and dirty. I've realized FWB is a horrible thing.But i suffer from lack of will power. How can i make sure i don't respond to his messages. Because i know he will call! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Poor u, sweetie. Men! it sounds like the bad outweighs the good, if its making u so unhappy as it clearly is. You use the words 'pain', 'miserable', 'unwanted' and 'dirty'...if it has that effect on u, then your right, enough is enough. nobody should feel like that. But when you take a step back, you'll realise it wasnt the end of the world. Nobody forced u to have sex with him, u did it cos u really wanted to and couldn't resist him. We all let our lust rule our heads sometimes. But you're in love with him, and its clear that you're not feeling the same from his end, so its definitely better for your genearl happiness and well-being if you resist him. I know it won't be easy, but next time he calls, tell him no way, tell him what you've said here, and he'll either walk away like a heartless coward, or if he has a heart and really feels for u, he'll try to make amends. Be strong, don't let yourself melt no matter how hot he is, and if he absolutely goes out of his way to tell you you're the one for him and really means it, you'll know. Hope it all works out for u. He's not the only guy in the world. Best of luck xx
A
female
reader, freebird  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 Hi there.
I think you know the answer. Basically you need to start caring for yourself.
Tell yourself that you can respond to his calls if you want to. The choice is yours. Nobody can hurt you if you do not want to hurt yourself.
Also make sure for your own sake that this guy does not have feelings for you. You say that he lied to you. But did he? If you can really be assured that he is not worth your feelings, that will greatly help you in moving on.
This lack of will power comes when deep down you feel that you can take more suffering. I am talking from my own experience. Trust me, if you feel that you have had enough , that will lead to "will power". I think you are still very hopeful. Are you?
Love and Hugs
FB
Here are some tips:
http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/breakingup/a/breakuphelper.htm
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