A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:Currently im trying to cope with the fact my ex is ignoring me. I broke up with him a cpl months ago because he was too busy for me and seemed to be going through a depression and being overwhelmed by work and school. So instead of listening to my concerns and working it out, he promised to fix it but tried smoothing it over and gave up. I didnt know what to do, got frustrated and broke up with him thinkin itd bring relief. It didnt.. so we hung out and saw each other for awhile - like nothing changed. and eventually i decided that wasnt going to work because it wasnt healthy. I started dating others and he kept trying to keep me in his life. and instead of being just friends, having a good time - he would throw the "i love yous/i miss yous" out there. We were fine for awhile, enjoying one anothers company - until he did that. He also would make and break plans.So after that, i told him the making/breaking plans needed to stop. He was supposed to call the following day and didnt, maybe he was mad at me..who knows but he called a wk later, i ignored it..and over a wk later i contacted him letting him know i noticed he called,im tired of being jerked around, i love him but for him not to call me unless hes more organized/settled and is willing to put effort and work this relationship out. I said i would contact him if i feel we can be friends. A few days went by and i thought about him more than i had in awhile/thought bout it clearly..and i felt we could be friends, as long as he didnt throw the i love yous out there. So i contacted him saying that i miss his company and im interested in being friends..and to call me if he thinks he can be friends.i guess he doesnt think so, or hes just ignoring me because he hasnt bothered to reply about anything. This isnt a game to get him back. ive come to terms with the fact that hes just not ready for a relationship at this time in his life..and i am.. and i have been seeing other men, but i DO enjoy hanging with him.. he was my gaming and movie buddy..i see alot of stuff on tv that i know only he would appreciate but i cant just call him..I feel he may be mad..cause i said we cant have a relationship and hes not ready for one..but that doesnt mean i hate him or dont want to speak to him again, i do want to talk to him.anyhoo.. i know all of this probably sounds silly but why do you think hes ignoring me? i dont feel ive gone back on what i said.. he can still work on something with me.. but ultimately we can be friends..
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (28 May 2011):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question i did tell him i regretted breaking up.. it was never a true break up.. it was just taking a break.
when we were together - i tried being there for him and all he did was push me away. how can you be there for someone..when they dont want to see u.. or wont let you console them? i knew he was depressed but all he did was call me and chose not to see me (he was always too tired, wasnt feeling well).
and even now..he got his job back..and has only seen me once..because i threw it out there. i told him he could visit anytime(he works 3 min away from me..and lives further away).. and it confused me that he would always tell he misses me but wouldnt make the time to see me.. even now that we're broken up and he still claims he misses/loves me..but hasnt made much of an effort. Ive invited him over for dinner, and i told him shortly after we broke up that i wanted to get back together, i just wanted us to spend time together.. and he claimed he wanted to get back together but now says hes not sure if he can devote the time i need.
so now i hardly call him and he wonders why.. and then makes/breaks plans with me & calls a wk later..so i ignored his phone call..cause i didnt know what to do/say..and now, hes choosing to ignore ME.
yes, i dont like being jerked around.. but at the same time i know i enjoy his company, and dont want him to be out of my life. and unfortunately i still love him and care about how hes doing. i think he still loves/wants to be with me..but just needs to get shit sorted out.. i wanted to be there for him but he wouldnt let me.
i am trying to give him space now..even though i miss him
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (28 May 2011):
 I agree with Monique. Your boyfriend is trying not to re-open the wounds that you caused him when you first broke up with him. If he was in a depression when you broke up with him, you are probably making it worse and each time he hears you calling, it stirs those old feelings again. His only solution, is simply to ignore you and hope you become a distance memory.
If you regret dumping him, I suggest sending him ONE written letter to plead your case. If he doesn't respond, I suggest you do what he is doing: move on.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, MoniqueEE  +, writes (27 May 2011):
He's ignoring you because you broke up with him when he was going through a bad time and could only see yourself in the relationship.How on earth do you expect someone who had strong feelings for you but was abandoned in his time of need, to keep a charade of friendship.You cannot expect anything from him, ex's generally cannot be friends and you are demanding things as if you are still his girlfriend.If you have any respect for him at all you will let him make up his own mind and give him the space he deserves. It will allow you to look at the situation properly and take a good hard look at yourself.
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