A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im drivin myself crazy thinkin about my ex NON STOP!!! He was absolutely gorgeous and so sexy i wish I was still with him but he couldnt put up with my worrying about other girls!! Ive tried to get him back but he doesnt want to know. But all I can think about is how we had sex and what we used to do, sometimes it gets so bad that i nearly phone him to beg him back. I really, really want him but know I cant have him ever again. How do you live with that? Cos its honestly driving me insane. Yes I can go out and find someone else to like but nobody would be as better looking as my ex and I dont think I would feel the same about anyone else. I know its not love - its lust. But I cant get him out of my head. please help me x
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 Hi there,
you at least admit it was lust not love, as no relationship based around a person's looks is going to last very long. You can only have sex for so long during a day, the rest of the time you are stuck with their personality :)
Do what most girls and guys do in this situation, grab whatever toy is appropriate lie down form a picture inside your head and let your imagination run wild.
I get the feeling with all this reality T.V on at the moment people have forgotten how to fantasize. Its a shame.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): I understand how you feel. Did you hear about Paige Parker and datingwithoutdrama.com? It may help in the future. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): I just want to say that since your EX is hot, that is not a reason to be with him. Think about the reason you both broke up. Could you trust him when you were not around him?? One way to get over him is think about how he treated you...did he get his way or talk down to you, make you feel guilty about things or treat you bad?? If so, forget him. Now let me tell you that if he's as hot as you say and treated you good, that is something great. You don't come across them very often. I could be wrong so please don't take offense but it sounds like you both are young...right?? He is going to want to explore the rest of the flavors out there and you should do the same. Make new experiences for yourself and then when the time is right and you both are in the same place and it's meant to be, it will happen. You don't want to be with someone that you begged or forced to be with you.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (6 December 2007):
 It has to be said, I've been going through the same sort of thing for the past 5 months. I'd say what you're feeling is very normal soon after a break up, and don't expect that to go away overnight. Try to ease your pain by keeping yourself occupied. Spend time with family and friends, and try to keep your mind off guys full stop. Christmas is coming, so I would take some time to think about and be thankful for what you have in your life as opposed to what you've lost. It isn't easy. As I say, you've described what I've been like for the past 5 months. Things do get easier though, you just need time.
Best of luck, and message me if you'd like to talk. I can probably relate.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Accepting that we can't be with the person we love (or lust after, whatever) is a very hard lesson to learn, but one you should indeed learn if you are to be happy.
Your life isn't over because this guy won't be with you anymore. I assume you're very young, or you would know this already.
You can't give up just because someone doesn't love you or wants to be with you. You have a life to live, happiness to find, people to meet. There is more to your life than this person. And it would be very wrong if you let your life be ruined because of his absence.
It's my experience that this a hell of a lot easier said than done. But, it needs to be done.
You also need to learn that emotions are part of our life, but they are not everything. Perhaps some of us agony aunts and uncles, who came here on personal problems ourselves, are a bad example of this. But you need to think what is going to happen to your life and where you're headed to. This pain of yours won't take you anywhere. That would be so, so sad.
Give yourself a break. Don't expect to be over him in a short time. Just don't think about him, and live your life on the assumption that he's not there anymore. Sooner or later, you'll be over him. And then you will be free to start a new beginning.
By the way, this is what life is offering you now. A new beginning.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Sounds like you need to move on... I've been in a similar situation from your boyfriends point of view and it went really ugly... No trust, suspicious all the time, gave me aggro for stuff I've never done, never did and never thought of doing, called me a liar, accused me of cheating and all sorts. I had done NOTHING wrong and didn't do anyhting to give her the idea that I had/could/would.
Every time a girl so much as looked at me, perhaps for dancing like a bit of a prat on the dancefloor or anything, I'd get it in the neck and a row would follow.
I think you need to have time apart, and don't go rushing into another relationship while you're still hung up on your ex. Get out there with mates, have fun, fill up your time and I'm sure after a while you'll think less and less and less about him.
If you got this amazingly good looking guy then you can get yourself another one. He doesn't want to know so I think you'll just have to learn to accept it I'm afraid.
p.s. Looks aren't everything.
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