A
female
age
36-40,
*aine
writes:And my boyfriend has told me how nice and good I am to him. He says he has wanted a woman like me for a very long time. He started to cry, told me he loves me, and he is trying so hard to get his divorce done. I don't ask him about it alot sometimes I do. This man I am with is like an angel from heaven. I miss him so much when we are not together. When I tell him how sweet and kind he is he says thanks honey. It's so hard for him to open up to me. Is their anything I can say or do to get him to open up. I just feel like if I talk too much or ask too many questions it will upset him. Please help me.And my boyfriend has told me how nice and good I am to him. He says he has wanted a woman like me for a very long time. He started to cry, told me he loves me, and he is trying so hard to get his divorce done. I don't ask him about it alot sometimes I do. This man I am with is like an angel from heaven. I miss him so much when we are not together. When I tell him how sweet and kind he is he says thanks honey. It's so hard for him to open up to me. Is their anything I can say or do to get him to open up. I just feel like if I talk too much or ask too many questions it will upset him. Please help me.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 February 2011):
 He may be an angel but he is a married angel, so a bit of prudence and rationality is in order. Married men are sadly notorious for their capability of being incredible bullshitters and manipulators, so IMO you are entitled to , and you should in fact , ask all the questions you want until you are satisfied that you have a clear picture of the situation.
Why precisely is it so difficult for him to get a divorce, what's the obstacle ? What has he done exactly so far , and what is he planning to do in future to remove this obstacle ? How long does he guess will it take : weeks, months, years ? Is he still living at home in the meantime, etc.etc.
If he cares about you and he respects you, he will not be upset and he will not think that you are butting into his business,- because he will appreciate this is your business too since it affects your reputation, happiness and future, all of which he should take deeply at heart.
A
female
reader, missyfit +, writes (26 February 2011):
 Hello Maine,I have been in your situation... My boyfriend is not a person that can tell you ALL his life in one sitting. It took me about literally 4-5 months for him to be really open with me. Even though we've known each other 3 years before we got together... The only thing that you can do is ask him straightforward. that's what I did and surprisingly he did! Little by litte. Just don't keep asking him because it might annoy him. But just make it casual and say hey, i really like you and i would like to get to know you better.. and so on. About his divorce, just give it some time. He will open up to you eventually. Your boyfriend is like an onion... you have to peel him layer by layer to get to the center. :) Just a thought. OH! this has been my problem too so i know a lot! My question for you is, are you also open with him? because if you're open with him, he would most likely do the same to you. Just be patient and he'll come around.Best of luck!
...............................
|
