A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right after the breakup, I got a little nasty..but not too bad. We have to run into each other in town every once in a while. At first I ignored him and he me, but gradually we started to warm up to each other enough to say "hi" (his initiative.) He got on the elevator w/ me one day (which was a big step, bc right after I got nasty post-breakup, he avoided riding the elevator w/ me,) and joined in the conversation I was having with someone else... But lately, the last few times I've seen him, he has seemed distraught.I haven't texted him in 3 months or more, the last one being nasty...but I texted him,"Everything ok? You seem a little off lately"He hasn't replied (it's been 21 minutes...)Wonder why? he's been cordial in person, and afterall it was just a friendly little text..what's the harm?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): Call him or ask him in person, texting is for kids.
A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (11 August 2011):
There's a difference between being civil in an elevator where other people are present, and wanting to have personal communication with you. My guess is that he doesn't want to tell you how he is because he doesn't want to let you back into his life, and wants to draw a boundary. YOu're not his gf any more, just someone he rides in the lift with.
Now you are no longer going out, he has no reason to text you back, especially if you were nasty to him previously. He may have a bitter taste in his mouth. There isn't any harm in replying, as you say, but maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you about what's going on because he's moved on now.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 August 2011):
 He's your ex. You two have broken up. Why are you talking to him? Why are you sending him "are you alright" texts??
It's one thing to be cordial because you have to ride the elevator with him, but you two don't have a relationship now, nor should you. You don't know whether or not he's moved on and is with someone else, and quite frankly, that isn't your business anymore.
I know feelings are still a little raw, and you may have regretted some of your post breakup nastiness, but the best thing for both of you to do is to go separate ways. If you bump into him in the elevator, treat him like any other work colleague. His saying "hi" in the elevator doesn't mean he's warming up to you. It means that he's being cordial.
Let him go once and for all -- delete his number from your phone, and move on. You two broke up. That ends your association together. The sooner you move on, the better.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Maybe he feels that he shouldn't have that much contact with you. You're an ex, so why would he? This is his limit, he won't get any closer than this. So let it go. And it's just a text and it's only been 21 mins. Just accept that all he prefers to do is have short, simple contacts when he feels like it.
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A
female
reader, lostphoenix +, writes (11 August 2011):
20 minutes isn't that long... maybe he is in a shower or meeting, or busy with something. Trust me, I've been there and staring at the phone for text messages to be returned and a minute can sometimes feel like forever. lol
Why did you guys break up? Maybe he's confused about your interactions...
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