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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a relationship with a guy and I believe he is cheating because of the hours he comes in. He does plumbing and uses that as his reason all the time, but something doesn't feel right. Should I follow my instincts and leave him, bearing in my I have a child, or do I wait till I have proof, but that could be hard to find? Other issues have affected my decisions like lack of dating and arguments to name a few, and, I have tried the "talk about it" road too. So what to do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): You need concrete evidence before you can really do anything. If we all up and off on instinct there would be a lot more broke relationships around. Is there no way of finding out just what he has been up to? Without being found out, can you look through his job sheet or work schedule, he must have one somewhere. Be discreet. Try to find out all of this first, then based on fact, make your decision.If it is to go alone, it is ok to be on your own with a child. We all don't need men (or women) as props to help us through life bringing up kids, i know i have done it on my own. It can be hard at times but very very rewarding and your head will not be done in by him.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 investigate darling use your friend's and relative's net and then u decide
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006): What you don't feel right, can possibly be your insecurities. Mind you, everyone has a degree of insecurities, it's just how well we control our doubts - either naturally or through will.
If you want to leave someone, do it through solid points and not through guesses. If the 'other' issues are really issues, then work/start on those things. As of now, your instincts can be a result of many things - mood swings, period, stress from other things, lack of dating, arguments as you've mentioned, etc.
Since you can't go on his plumbing work with him, and his words doesn't sound too credible for you, you can of course, just simply leave him, or you can give him the benefit of the doubt and stay. The thing is, you have problems in your relationship, you work on those problems, and not go on instincts of leaving if he is cheating or not.
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