A
female
age
41-50,
*he ex wife
writes:Hi there. I have just a simple question. My ex-husband hangs around a lot still and lately, I can't have a conversatin AT ALL without him interrupting me. Anything I talk about and even when I'm on the phone with somebody, he interrupts me to talk about himself. For example: I'll be talking about something the kids did and he will jump in the middle and say "look, South Park is on". Another example: I will be talking about a song I hear on the radio and he will jump in the middle and say something like "yeah when I was younger bla bla bla". I can't stand it and I tell him all the time to stop or I will just keep talking while he's talking. Why does he do that? He's always interrupted but the last few months, he has been much worse.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, the ex wife +, writes (25 July 2008):
the ex wife is verified as being by the original poster of the question btw: No we don't have children TOGETHER. I have two kids and he doesn't have any at all. Another thing I agree, I don't think he really wants me. I think we are just familiar for each other.
A
female
reader, the ex wife +, writes (25 July 2008):
the ex wife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your advice. I do believe he feels lonely. Mostly because I won't even make love to him anymore. So, to add my feelings to your advice, I have spent many years where NOTHING I said or felt mattered and now, I just don't care about his day anymore. He stays with me for weeks at a time and I get to where I'm sick of him. He doesn't have a job and I'm layed off with only unemployment and it's hard enough to pay for me and 2 kids. I guess I better tell him how I feel as you suggested. Sounds selfish I know but after what he's put me through, I don't give a hoot about his day.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Um. I hate to sound intrusive but why exactly is your ex hanging around? Do you have children or are you just now civil people who can be friends?
He may just be asserting his comfort level out on you that you aren't comfortable with. At some point both of you were married and lovers. That is generally very close and if you have managed to maintain a civil relationship he may just be taking your previous relationship experience as a basis for how he acts around you now. All you can do is keep giving him the borders he needs to know where he can and does stand around you. I know talking to an ex is not always easy when, but it does help to draw lines in the sand.
He needs to learn manner. Interupting people in general is just flat out rude so the next time he does it just point out that he has interupted you and or continue to talk over him gently to show he has.
Good Luck!
HonningKanin
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A
male
reader, Ometeotl +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Sounds like he is feeling lonely and left out. He is waiting for someone to listen to him and give him attention. Assuming that he doesn't have anyone one else in is life. Do you two still live together, it sort of sound a like it. If you two still see each other on a normal basis it would make sense. Maybe you should find a little time and just ask him how his day was. Let him express himself. If that isn't then he needs a little sit down and talk to see what his problem is. Maybe he feels he doesn't have to listen to you anymore and sees you as a nag who needs a sock in her mouth, I am hoping he doesn't have a good reason for that way of thinking. I think the best course of action is to sit down and ask him how his day was and just listen, try to have your full undivided attention on him. If that isn't the case let him know how you feel.
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