A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:My question is this:My ex has started speaking to me again, and I'm replying. But am I just headed for more heartache?I posted a question just yesterday telling how miserable I was (Because yesterday, I really was miserable over the situation). I was missing my ex more than I've missed her for quite some time, and this comes just a couple of days after the 3 month mark, and possibly, a about a month and a half after I suggested we don't talk for a while, allowing me time to heal.Anyway, our conversation was brief, because she had work to do, but it was quite nice. She was telling me a little about University, and what it's like and such. She, just like after the break-up, still seems keen to stay in touch with me... Even if it's just a friend. I've never really understood why. I really don't know. I'd like to think that it's so we could maybe have something after Uni, but that's so long from now...Talking to her usually used to set me up for misery days later. I'm hoping that pattern won't re-develop. I just worry that talking to her again will just lead to more misery and heartache.. But then, possibly something I've wanted for the past two years; a life with her.What is this, guys? False hope? Because I can see this going one of two ways:She breaks my heart, or she gives me hers.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): try not to speak to her. you will find it really difficult to forget about her and get over her if she keeps coming back into your life randomly and putting you back to square one.
you need a clean break from her, it its been a month and a half since you last spoke to her and you were feeling really miserable that tells me you were probably right in the thick of the break up depression part. which sucks. but also means you can only go up and it can only get easier.
you're already half way there, dont turn back because if you give yourself false hope and put yourself back to the start, you'll let her back into your life then she'll go back out of it again and you will need go through the break up feelings again. then you will have experienced it one and a half times when if you just stay strong and go through it now you will only go through it once.
A
female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 Did you call her?....Or did she call you?....If she's the one who called you, then I'd say she might still be thinking about you and may have feelings for you and now that she's situated in college, her thoughts have turned you because she may be wondering what you're up to and how you're doing. BUT if you were the one who called her, I wouldn't read much into the diaglog she had with you because she is probably not a rude person, so she talked to you for a bit, and then found a reason to exit the conversation before it started to turn into another discussion about why she left you, and is she coming back? And if you were the one who did indeed call her, then yes, you may be setting yourself up for another heartache because you're hoping that she'll change her mind and want you back, but I don't really see that happening any time soon. At least she wasn't rude to you on the phone. Right?
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A
female
reader, wens +, writes (28 September 2007):
Dear AndyOO,
It is sad to think that you are miserable when you are at an age were you should be having the time of your life.
I am afraid that I agree with the female who answered you yesturday. Maybe she is keeping her options open just in case!
That I feel is wrong and I think that it is time for you to be positive!
Yes remember the good times you have had together but leave them as that.
When you get this feeling of misery disregard the negativity!
You must change you whole out look within this previous relationship. That is what it was Previous, it's in the past.
You need to set yourself a target/goal for your self, something that will bring positivity around you.
Be pleased for her that she is progressing, enjoy the chats that you may have and don't read into it any further than a chat!
Start thinking of yourself, it will be hard but you can do this!
You might find that you may have to be a little selfish to suceed with that but in time you will see.
Think for tomorrow and not yesturday dear. You will find the right one when the time comes.
It's not always when we think it is.
Goodluck and God Bless You..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): Hiya, I feel a little as though you are being dangled on a piece of string, it seems to me that your ex is keeping her options open incase things dont work out for her.
I think that you need to except that she is an ex and as much as that breaks your heart it will do you no good to dwell on what could have been.
I don't think that many friendships between people that have had a relationship together can work, there is just too much water under the bridge.
Go and make yourself happy or you will be miserable for a long time and may never get the prize your waiting for.
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A
female
reader, ncjones +, writes (28 September 2007):
hi, listen i no what your going through but i also no what your ex is doing, it sounds to me that she has that connection with you on a friendship level it may stronger as time goes on but for now please do not get your hopes up sit back and enjoy being single for now, be a friend and if you cant do that then just stay away. things happen for a reason even if we dont feel ready but what ever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, talk to your ex and explain to her how you feel and see how she feels dont keep it in, it will only make things worse goodluck and my fingers crossed for you x
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