A
female
age
41-50,
*imberle
writes:My ex and I were together for 9yrs, we started dating when I was 17. We have 2 wonderful children together. 4yrs ago our relationship ended for a lot of reasons. We had been talking for quite sometime about how we loved each other but were unhappy, we were not moving foward. Towards the end we started fighting alot!! I was becoming very depressed and didnt have a clue who I was!! And he was pushing me away,so we broke up. as a result I starting hanging around a mutual friend(male) and started doing drugs! This also ended badly after about 3 months I hit rock bottem!! Turns out this was the best thing hat had ever happened to me. Its been 4yrs since we split and I love him more than ever. I have tried several times to reconcile what we had but he gives me a cold shoulder. Until now!! I met a wonderful man 2 yrs ago whom I also have a child w/ and was planning to move a little ovr 100m away to start a life w/. So my ex and I met to discuss arrangements w/ our 2 children. We talked for hours, had a few beers ended up hanging out all night and having sex. It was great!! This was was 4mths ago and we r still having sex. We spend a lot of time together now..we go shopping, out to dinner, he took me to a concert the other day. He calls and text everyday. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone. I have never stopped loving him and wanting my family back, and want nothing more in this world than to spend the rest of my life w/ him. But here is my problem:he says "I am not in love with you like that..yet" and "I dont feel the same as I did, as you do..yet" and "I dont want to hurt you, but what if I meet someone and fall in love? u could be the person that sweeps me off my feet, but I dont KNOW that" also "he wants to be in love with me and hopes to, but isnt feeling it..yet" He is not dating anyone, buts talks to several women. He has not had sex in over a year..until we did. So he is not intimate with anyone.I have decided to stay and finish school here until I sort everything out..Am I wasting my time on him? Is there a chance that he does want to be with me? Is there a chance for us?
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female
reader, Kimberle +, writes (25 February 2009):
Kimberle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah.. we had a long talk and I told him it was hurtig me too bad to have sex anymore. So that is stopped. And the fact that every chance he gets he tells me he NOT in love and I cant anymore. Cause wat if/when he does meet someone else..it will kill me and I cant put myself nor my children thru that!! I told him right now it is also too hard to hang out..hopefully in the future things will change...but the last 4 months have brought back a shitload of feelings I thouhgt I had gotten over!!! So he seems fine .. so I guess I answered my own auestion... although during our talk he said he loved hanging out and doing dinned n movies...so I asked " Im just not what your looking for?" he tells me I am everything he is looking for!! he just doesnt love me anymore...WTH.!!! MEN But im trying hard to leave it alone..whether its really over or we end up together this way is for the best !!
Im sorry to hear of your miscarriage..and good luck with your men!! lol oh I still talk to the other man..I still love him I just dont think its fair to him to try and sort things out..plus Im just not ready.
A
female
reader, SullMA60 +, writes (24 February 2009):
I hear your situation, dealing with a similar problem, but miscarried.It's easier when you look at the issue from the outside. It seems to me that he could be jealous that you're now w/ someone (they alwyas want what they can't have). Ask him why he says that about meeting someone else? Can you handle having casual sex? I, too, am in love with my HS sweeheart from years ago and after breaking up and just having sex, it set me waaay back. I thought I could, but when the calls stopped, it killed me. What if you two had sex last night and you never hear from him again? What's up w/ the other guy?
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