A
female
age
30-35,
*ancerGirl09
writes:Hello everyone,My ex boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up back in August of 2012. Basically there wasnt no meet up to talk and say ok lets break up on move on instead he began to ignore me, act shady, be in love with me the next day again and ignore after that. There was a point where we didnt speak for a week then I texted him a hello and he texted me back saying "fuck off I have a girlfriend" That right there was the breaker. Anyways hes been in a relationship with this new chick since August when we "broke up". In the beggining I would check her facebook because my friend is friends with her just curious and then I would just totally avoid it. I threw out all of his stuff and our stuff (love letters from the army between us and etc...)Ive been talking to these 2 guys but havent found anyone yet because I am in no rush. It's just some days I occassionaly go on facebook to see what hes doing. I dont want anyone telling me im still attatched etc. because I AM NOT. Sometimes looking at the facebook makes me strong because I laugh and just think of what he put me through and how our relationship consisted of more negative then positive.He looks horrible now anyway, gained alot of weight,and his girlfriend is another case.Do any of you catch yourself or done this? Its been 5 months but I get nosey. I think that will stop once I find a guy and get in a relationship to fully take my mind off shit I think randomly.PS- This girl he used to work with friend requested me and added me on facebook.I recognized her because I seen her before so i replied back asking if she new my ex. I didnt think much because it seemed like an innocent message and I didnt think he would go back to that job because he got into an argument with this girls father(owner/boss) She played dumb and said omg small world. A couple days later I saw a picture of him wearing the work outfit from this job. SOOOOO he is now back working there and she basically added me to be nosey for him right? I denied that request anyway. I guess he is trying to be nosey too.I dont really need advice but has anyone ever been through this and what do you think about this coworker of his who tried adding me on facebook to basically creep on me for him?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 January 2013):
 There is no way to be certain that he is using his co-worker to spy on you, she might just be a nosey person herself and likes to add people she has briefly met! Or she might be one of those people that adds people they hardly know just to boost the number of friends they have just to make themselves look good.
I would worry much about that, you cant know for sure it was your ex wanting to spy on you, so forget about it and move on. He has a girlfriend now so I'd be very surprised if he could be bothered going to the effort of getting someone to spy on you, after all if he wanted to look at your Facebook he could right? Just like you check his Facebook, I'm sure he could do the same without going to the effort of asking someone else to do it.
As for you checking his Facbook, yes this is perfectly normal and I'd be suprised if there are many people out there who dont do this kind of thing! I have a nosey on my ex's profiles now and then, I also have a look at their wives/girlfriend's pages too - but I am just curious as to what they are doing with their lives and where they have ended up! I'm in a very happy long term relationship and am settled with a lovely guy, and my ex's are pretty irrelevant really - I'm just nosey and enjoy having a peek once in a while at what they are doing, just like you do with old school friends etc.
I wouldnt worry about what you are doing, it is normal and loads of people do it. As long as you know that you could stop it in an instant (I could happily survive never looking at my ex's pages again, I just enjoy it occasionally when I'm a bit bored but would easily give it up if I had to!) then you dont have a problem - its when you cant go a day without looking at it is when you know there are some issues and some feelings left over that you have not dealt with.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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