A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I posted this yesterday and had no replies so thought i would try again..Me and my ex had a row the other night, and he grabbed me and pinned me up against a cupboard. I fought him off, and got him out the house. My children and his child were in the house at the time, and i ended up calling the police. I dont ever want to see him again, and am glad he's history.Anyway, this is the bit i want to figure out. This morning he went to a car boot sale, where he knew my mum and her boyfriend was going be selling. And blatantly walked up to her and said " I would like to straghten a few things out" Then proceeded to feed her a load of rubbish about the other night, she then proceeded to explain to him why she doesn't think we are suited and how i spent 10 yrs with someone before, without so mch as a crossed word, and that i need someone more stable, and that his life is just way too complicated for me, it drove me mad.I had to put the phone down on her because i was amazed that she even took the time to speak to him! As if the other night wasn't enough to say why we shouldnt be together! If it was my daughter he had done it to and in front of my grandson, i wouldn't want to even look at him!She said she was caught off guard, couldn't believe he would actually even casually walk up to her and start talking! She said he had his daughter with him, so she couldn't tell him where to go, my mum is very diplomatic, but my mms boyfriend saved her by suggesting she go look round the car boot, and she walked off. Praying to god he didn't follow her.Now i guess i understand what she meant, and she is now annoyed that he put her in that position.I dont get why he would think he could have something she would possibly want to hear! After what happened the other night. What kind of guy is he?I am aware enough to know that he is a manipulator, but why would someone play games like that? Its not like he was particularly close to my mum, i had only been with him just over a year. Its almost as if he is so convinced i am wrong and even my family will think so? She now says she feels used by him to try to cause problems for me!
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (19 May 2008):
 Maybe he thinks he has a chance at some stage to get you back although obviously he knows that you are still too angry with him at present, but is trying to cover his backside with your mum so there won't be too much of a problem with your family should you get back together in the future. Trying to make you look as guilty as him he is manipulating the situation and thinks people will not blame him totally if they think you acted just as badly...
Don't blame your mum for being put on the spot, I'm sure she knows what the real truth is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't get him charged, he didn't actually hit me, just pinned me up against the cupboard. Im 5'3, he's nearly 6 foot, yet i soon got him off me i can assure you! Thats not the issue now really. I'm more worried about why he would think it ok after that, to approach my mother and think she would be all pally with him.
My sister said stop analysing it, you cant figure those type of people out, as far as he is concerned, he couldn't possibly be in the wrong, you will be, and nothing will ever change that. She was with someone similar 12 yrs ago. They are so manipulative, they even have you thinking its you thats mad. She felt the same. And things like getting your family on side, are part of the master plan. My mum is quite annoyed that he caught her off guard like that, because you just wouldn't expect your daughters ex to come up to you like that after he has pinned her up against a cupboard!
I guess, i just want to hear if anyone else has been in a similar situation like this. So posted the question.
x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 May 2008):
He feels guilty about what he did and is trying to talk himself out of it. The police won't believe that it wasn't his fault so he's going to try and talk to someone else.
He's trying to cause trouble because he's an idiot, a manipulator, and a violent bully.
Tell your mum not to think about it any more and hopefully he will stay away until the court case.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, rorowes  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 I think that maybe you and your family need some kinda of oder in place to keep this guy away from you all. He's starving for attention, and any is good enough for him.
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