A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex gf 5yrs+ and I just recently broken up few days ago . Long story I went to go visit her for the second time at her place (long distance relationship ) stayed 3 weeks. The first week was hot romance and she couldn't get enough of me and than poooff she went cold and distance when her sister and brother in law came to visit them in the second following week. All her attention went to her sister and brother in law .My ex and her Brother in law got this weird relationship connection bond where they would always tease each other playfully ( mean jokes ) + playfully scaring each other. He would always gaze at her and she would always giggle at him since he always had a cocky smurk he would do. When I tried to apply the same smile or smurk to my gf at times but she would give me a mean stare back and rolls her eyes at me. I know I messed up by being insecure and losing her trust by confronting her about it. She said I accuse her of having an infidelity with her sister's husband when did was told her I didn't like the way she was acting or how too friendly she was towards him (brother in law )because its weird. We argue on and off the 2 remaining weeks that I stayed there. It seems like her brother in law would find time to tease her and make fun of her and she would always laugh it off. She not like this with her other 2 brother in laws .I don't know If I am looking into it too much or not but my ex gf would act weird around him like being extremly nice and flirty . Could there be something wrong because my gut senses are triggering me that there is or I am just being paranoid and she just has a close relationship with her brother in law ?
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ex girlfriend, flirt, infidelity, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Saphire_gurl  +, writes (13 September 2019):
I don’t think there is anything seriously romantic or physical going on between your ex girlfriend and bother in law. I think she just gets on well with him and feels more comfortable around him than her other brother in laws. She probably sees him as part of her family and like a brother and that she has to be polite to him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 September 2019):
 Well, I guess it's a good thing it's over. Not wanting to kiss your BF of 5!! years when family is around is weird to me. I don't mean making out or snogging, just a kiss.
I'd DEFINITELY date someone you can see on a almost daily basis.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your time to respond! Yes the ex and I had a mutual break up.Just need space to move on from the bad times. Responds to Honeypie ,The ex does show PDA when we were together when the BIL is around its just no kissing thats all because she doesn't feel comfortable kissing me when any family member is around that includes her older sis too.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (12 September 2019):
 OP, you're broken up so at this point wasting your time dwelling on the situation doesn't matter. Look towards the future and close the door on the past.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2019): The fact is, that she is your ex now, so you are only wasting your time and energy, trying to solve something that is really no longer, any of your concern. This is akin to you driving down the highway, with your eyes afixed into the rearview mirror, and not looking ahead, thru the windshield! Drama of the past belongs, in the past! Believe me friend, there are new troubles ahead mixed in with the good times. Stay alert and ready to meet those challanges head on! The less baggage that you bring from the past, the better for everyone, especially you! Take care friend!
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (11 September 2019):
She’s your ex why do you care? If ever there was a MYOB situation it’s this one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2019): I think your instinct is right and the only thing that stops them two having a fling is her sister. Sorry, best leave her in the past not a great future recipe as you ill always have this connection at get together s.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 September 2019):
I don't know.
I have a pretty good relationship with 2 of my brother-in-laws and there is NO WAY in HADES that I would cheat or anything remotely sexual with them. We do have banter and joke around but I see them as more BROTHERS than anything else.
Maybe your ex-gf sees THIS BIL as a brother and they just click as far as banter, joking and teasing. NOT everything is sexual.
BUT I do think your gut is on to something. And here is why. IF she ALL of a sudden wasn't all PDA and wanting YOU when HE was there.... it kind of makes me thing that she likes him more as a man than a "brother".
Doesn't mean she would EVER cheat with him or pursue him romantically, BECAUSE he is married to HER sister. It might just be a bit of a crush.
I think it also DOESN'T matter anymore because you two broke up. It's over and donezo.
I'd say NEXT time you look for a GF, find someone closer by. LDR's are rarely successful. And honestly, you quite often find that you don't REALLY know your partner as well as you thought. Simply because you don't spend enough time together IN person.
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