A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex is freaking confusing. But I love her...We broke up yesterday because she thinks she's not IN love with me and fell for me for the wrong reasons. That she does love me and cares about me though. So when i asked if she'd want to try and fall for right reasons, she instantly jumped and said "Yeah we can see if we spark again." But she doesn't want to close herself off to other things out there. So we agreed on an open relationship type thing to see what happens.We're been together for four years, were completely head over heels for each other. And she wants a second chance to rekindle us, so i don't believe she is not IN love with me. Four years is a long time to grow close to someone, know all their secrets and not fall in love. I think its her fundemental views and such that have changed. Since I'm her first real long lasting relationship too, she wants out of it to try and find something else, experience dating life.My friend gave me advice and told me that i should do the open relationship thing and that when she sees my attention somewhere else...she'll realize that she is in love with me and needs me as I do her. Is my friend right or wrong? Am I right or wrong? And If i do agree to the open relationship, where do I even start?
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broke up, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 October 2007):
 It's always better to know what's going on, than to wonder. Good luck to both of you, I wish you the best.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 October 2007):
It's always better to know what's going on, than to wonder. Good luck to both of you, I wish you the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys i got my answer from my ex tonight. She wants to stay friends for now. She doesn't know what the future holds and she said if it was back to me then she hopes we're both in the same place when it happens.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 October 2007):
Hopefully your friend is right. Then again she may feel better about dumping you. I think she is already planning on leaving you.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 October 2007):
You're friend is not correct. If you were the one who offered the open relationship, then it may be possible, but she is. How do you feel about this. How are you going to feel if she's dating someone else during this time?
I see this as a way to see what's out there but still having someone one the back burner to please her if her attempts fail. Open relationships also show a lack of commitment. Her wanting to create a spark in an open relationship is just an excuse. I'd talk to her and find out how she really feels.
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