A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and half years....on and off. We officialy broke up on august last year but we still see each other and we still talk and are intimate so nothing has really change. Earlier today he tells that he thinks we should "stop being intimate" the way I see it our intimacy is the only thing that separate us from the just friends zone. I don't want to be in the just friends zone with him. I love him. Dearly. He has been good to me. I don't know how we got here. Maybe it was my fault maybe it was him. Bottom line I'm I pain. I refused to let him see me cry ever again. I think I humiliated my self before him enought. So when he told me that we should stop being intimate I told him to figure out what he wants then cal me. As usual I panicked. I cannot stop crying. I know that after this I will not see him again. He won't call me and I won't growel after him. (I'm trying to leave with some dignity) we live in different parts of town and we NEVER bump in to each other by accident so unless we plan to meet up we can't. My point is that he has hurt me in the past and again now and every time. I always opne my self to him about hot I feel. I always want my boyfriend to know when I'm hurting! I don't know why I feel this way. I don't understand why I need to express my self to him. Sometimes I'm so ashamed after opening my self to him this way. Just crying my eyes out until things are better. Is it wrong of me to want him to know my pain?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 June 2010):
But he's not your boyfriend. He's just not. What you had together ended last year, and rather than move on, he's basically been having his way with you. Something has now changed with him, and he's stopped that. You are now a friend, and that is how you will remain. He has hurt you, and he has used you. Now it's time for you to accept that he has moved on, and you need to do the same. It's not wrong to want a boyfriend to listen to you. But he's not a boyfriend, and the more you refuse to let him go, the more you will be sucked into the mess. It's time for you to move on from this man an build your life up elsewhere.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 You should be brave and call him and say "I don't want us to stop being intimate. I love you dearly. I don't know how thinsg ended up this way, but you have been good to me, and I want you in my life".
He doesn't need to know when you hurt. He needs to know what you want! Be open and clear about that! What good does it do to share with him how much you hurt, it is pointless. Instead share with him your true feelings. And by that I don't mean how much it hurt you that he wants to stop being intimate, but how much you love him, that you want the intimacy, and him in your life.
Don't just run away and tell him to make up his mind. Make up your own mind and be honest enough to tell him what you truly feel.
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