A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was in a relationship with Eric for almost half a year. After we broke up i found out that he went out with my best friend and they chose to keep this from me until i found out they went out for about a month or two. He keeps saying how he really fell in love with her while she just used him and they no longer speak to each other. Both of them tried to gain back my friendship but i always felt like Eric made more of an effort. We started being 'friends with benefits', which was actually quite a surprise and not something i had ever planned. At first i was happy with this, but lately Eric has been saying how he wants to be with me again. While i was trying to make a decision, he told me that he felt so guilty for asking me and bringing up the past again as he doesnt deserve me after what he did to me. He lied to me while we were going out and after we broke up he was a complete insensitive asshole. He also says how he really cares about me and our friendship, and hes really scared that something will happen again to make us lose each other. I really want to believe that hes being honest, but for some reason i still think he could be lying. I don't know if i should believe that he has changed, as he says he has, or if hes just lying that he wants to be with me because hes always been the type of guy who likes having a girlfriend. Please help me decide
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female
reader, loveexpert23  +, writes (29 May 2010):
No, you should not date him. You can't trust him because he wasn't wanting you back when he was cheating with your best friend. He's probaly going to do the same thing if you get back together . Now you trust him once you can't trust him again. Just say it's over.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): Sounds like it's the day for us boys to get honest. My advice to you is don't! I've did the same shit before to my exes and I thought I was the man till it blew up in my face and I got a girl who played games like me and I got my karma? Yah it was done to me too an it sucks hard.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): get out of that now! he's all messed up and he mite be saying things about guilt because hes feeling the need to know he's worth your time, he wants to get back with you to repair his bruised ego. he will do this again- if he were actually sorry for hurting you he would leave you alone and let you heal. hes throwing salt in the wounds to recover his manhood. if he gets you he'll get his kicks and bounce back into full asshole mode again. his guilt is for his pride, he only regrets not moving onto another good girl like you who will hold on long enough so he can fuck them over too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): i forgot to hit at one more point, how are you labeling that girl as a good friend when she was quick to date your sloppy seconds. men have an honor system we dont date exes- noone shares a girl, and when it does happen it was a situation that was talked over because we knew she was easy and noone had any real feelings for that girl. im coming off as a jerk, but thats the reality. men wouldn't share- we like our oldschool caveman days, i am a man, i dont want my buddy hooking up with my ex and her comparing us, coming around with my buddy, the ackward times when im in a room alone with her and knowing my buddies allover that and he's going to be talking about their sex life, its wrong. she is not a friend. ditch all this mess and move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): as a man- im telling you not to do it. i have been there myself, and i did some messed up things to my ex. she deserved better and now, i dont take my woman for granted. he doesnt want to look like a loser, and trust me- he will have another one lined up while he's with you. not because your not great, but because we men play games to boost our egos. taking him back will make things worse for you, and he will never man up.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (12 January 2009):
 No. He is coming back to you because he is alone and the other chick used him. He even admitted it. He was in love with her but she just used him. Where does anything in that comment say "I love you and I realized what I did was wrong so I left her." ? SHE left HIM, and he is coming back to you. Did you notice how you said he was an insecure asshole to you when he was dating her. Then he finds out she is using him and who does he go back to? You. You are being used and being treated like a doormat. What happens when he meets someone else? I mean damn, if he cheats on you with your best friend then imagine what he would do with a girl he met behind your back! He is the lowest scum in my opinion. Anyone who would cheat on you with your friend... And your friend isn't any better obviously. Stop talking to both of these people. Neither one could care less about your feelings. I am seriously angry at this guy and I don't even know him. You should kick him in the balls when you tell him no thanks on the dating again invitation.
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A
female
reader, Abrasive_Reality +, writes (12 January 2009):
Seems like Eric is your typical male, wanting what he can't have.
I think only you can decide for yourself what you want to do, no one else can decide this.....
Who is to say he wont pull the same stunt on you? He was right, he doesn't deserve you, why would you want to take someone back that has even admitted that he doesn't deserve you?
You have the slight feeling he's lying, I personally think that's a red flag.
There are so many other fish in the sea out there for you, maybe you should try giving one of them a chance..... to do that though, you have to thoroughly let him go, otherwise you will never be able to successfully move on.
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A
female
reader, kymommy +, writes (12 January 2009):
tell him absolutly no. He was lucky that you even began a friendship with him. Not only did he cheat but he did with your best friend which is the ultamite betrayle. Id tell him you no longer want your friends sloppy seconds. If he cared and loved you as much as he claims he does/did he would of never cheated in the first place and trust me being with someone after they cheated on you it wont work. Your heart and brain will not allow you to forget it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): just to clarify, they did not go out while i was still with him, but about a few weeks after we broke up.
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