A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont want to stop loving my ex. we broke up a month ago i really believed we were perfect together, best friends but i kept a secret from him for a year. last year his friend tried it on with me but i said no. i knew this would hurt my bf so i just kept it a secret so that i wouldnt cause trouble. last month i couldnt take it anymore and just told him. he said he couldnt trust me because i kept it for so long and that he didn't love me any more. im devastated... please help with any advice as i cant handle this very well. i dont think i did anything wrong. nothing i say will change his mind..x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Honestly, for something minor like this, he should get over it if he really loves you. Most likely he just wanted a good excuse to break up with you.
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (30 April 2008):
 It is hard to know what to do and I can understand where you are both coming from as Ive experienced both sides of secrets personally. Give him time to think things through. It could have gone either way if you had told him originally he could have believed his mate if he denied it or blamed you but now I think you need to reassure him that in future you will always be up front and honest no matter what the consequences. Its up to him now to decide where to go from here. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 aww hun..well u should have made up your mind if u wanted to tell him or dint..i can understand u dint want to hurt him but u should have also thought how much it would hurt him once he gets to know the truth..all u have to do now is keep tryin and tryi g untill u convince him..all the best
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (30 April 2008):
 Hi
In his eyes you did lots wrong, and it had nothing to do with his mate trying it on with you. It was deception. It doesn't matter what something is about, its the keeping it from someone thats wrong. Ive been on the receiving end of something similar, and to be honest, once you find out someone has kept something from you, for even reasons of protecting you (so they say, i happen to believe its more to protect them) it hurts too much to just brush it under the carpet. He might forgive in the future, i did, but to be honest, it can keep coming back to haunt you, and you cant change that unfortunately. No one can turn the clock back. At the moment he will find it infuriating that you dont think you did anything wrong, and that will make it even worse in the long run for you in terms of him moving on from it and you getting back together.
My ex still knows he did wrong, but doesn't see the severity of it, and thats another reason i couldn't be with him anymore.
We are friends though.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 April 2008):
I doubt he has just fallen out of love with you, but I can understand him being angry and hurt by this.
Write him a letter or an email or something explaining why you did it.
Tell him how sorry you are and how you want him to forgive you. Tell him you will never do this again and just want a second chance. Reassure him that nothing happened with his friend.
Then it is up to him whether he forgives you.
His friend may be telling him that it was all your fault so you have to hope that your boyfriend picks you.
After sending the letter just leave him alone but make sure he knows you are there if he wants you. Don't pressurise him just let him have time to think.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): You don't think that you did anything wrong? how stupid can you be? You kept a secret from him that was very important. No friend would ever try to make a pass at my woman...if he did, then he is not truly my friend and I need to know immediately, so I can cut off the friendship with him. By you holding back this information....you have betrayed the trust! Now you should have kept this secret to yourself since you withheld it for so long. I don't feel sorry for you at all.
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