A
female
age
36-40,
*lmc
writes:I NEED HELP!! So I don't really know how to start this off but I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend, we were best of friends for over 2 years, and I was there for him whenever he needed me and same with him, then we started dating back in June 2007 and lived together for almost a year.. Well in March 2009 we moved out and got different apts, and was still sorta together, not dating well in April he killed him self, telling me he only loved me that day and he was sorry.. He told me he was going to do it but I didn't believe him and went to work. But 15 months has gone by now but I still can't get over him. I started dating another guy about 4 months ago, but all I think about is my ex boyfriend.. I don't know what to do. Is it to soon after his death to start dating.... :( like I still talk with his family here and there and go out to his sit, but whenever I do my new boyfriend gets mad.. I'm lost and need some help!!
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female
reader, almc +, writes (19 July 2010):
almc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks so much for your help, I let the boyfriend go, and now I got to work on my self. Thanks so much for your help :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 July 2010):
I think right now, you need to be alone and working on yourself. This new boyfriend just doesn't understand the situation at all, and in truth you're not ready to be dating given your feelings for your ex. You need to let this new boyfriend go, because he's just not understanding, and there is no point in making your life even more harder than it already is.
As for your ex, I'm not sure that you're still in love with him, but rather feeling guilt. I think you'd do better to see a counsellor, who will help you get over this one step at a time. You seem to be doing certain things, such as speaking to his family about it, but at the same time you're not doing enough 'personal' work on yourself that you can move on. This new boyfriend is perhaps more of a distraction, rather than a guy you can be with. I think you need to be single now, living your own life and coming to terms with your ex's death. I don't think you're ready to date at all. All the best to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): You poor thing!!!! Don't date anybody and you may want to take a break from your current relationship. You are NOT over your ex, and you probably feel some sort of guilt about him taking his own life. You need to seek therapy right away, jumping into the arms of another man will not ease your emotional pain right now. I can only imagine how you feel, it's one thing to break up with a person and decide never to see them again, but it's another thing for a person to be dead, then you know for certain that you will never see them again in this life time..all you can think about is how things could have been, should have been or would have been. Yeah, you might need a break from your current relationship because, it's pretty clear that you are far from being ready for one. Just be honest and work on healing your emotional wound.
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