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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: What do I do if my ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumors about me? He told about 3 old friends of mine stuff I NEVER said about them and offered false proof, and they sided with him and now they hate me. My current friends tell me that he is going insane, posting hateful comments on my anonymous website (formspring.me), and he ALMOST made my current boyfriend believe that I cheated on him (no such thing happened). I have a class with him and I can tell he still is in love with me (or maybe he's lustful) because whenever I stretch I can see him gawking at me (he even told me when we were friends that he found me irresistable, even when we weren't together). He fell in love with me about a year ago. Previous to that, he treated me like crap and cheated on me twice. He has a very large ego and is violent and has mentally abused me in the past. In class I don't acknowledge his existence, but is that enough to protect myself from him? He has threatened to hurt my boyfriend, and has talked to one of my friends about hurting me and my new boyfriend. I don't want anything to do with this enraged lunatic but I regret ever being nice to him. I've given him presents and he's met my parents and all. And after I broke up with him, he refused to take my friendship. What can I do?
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broke up, cheated on me, fell in love, his ex, my ex, violent Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): I think you need to take this seriously. I was in a violent and abusive relationship for a couple of years and was able to get out. My ex had made threats while we were together that if I ever left him he would hurt me and the person I was with. I didn't think he would I knew he had a violent side and he had hurt me before. I never thought he was capable of what happend next. He found out I was with someone and murdered him. I saw the whole thing happen. He is put away but you can't take threats like this lightly because you never know what someone can do when they are angry and jealous. I would recommend you report any kind of threats to the police. You don't want to carry something like this if he were to hurt your new boyfriend to get back or hurt you. I've been dealing with this for a couple years and it still hurts like hell. I wish I could go back and change things but I can't. I lost a good guy at the hands of a man I thought I knew and once shared a life with. Just becareful and be aware of your surroundings. God Bless
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (3 June 2010):
The more you pay attention to it the more they know that they are getting to you! and they will keep. on give it back to them by being kind and smiling!! as long as your boyfriend knows you and trust you and visa versa thats all that matters.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): The same thing happened to me. I thought i was the only one with this problem and believe me i still face it. My ex told his friend if she would like to slice my throat because he wouldnt harm a bitch. well, wouldnt that be him harming me through his friend? His friends of course believe every single crap he would say to them. He lied so much, he said a lot of shit about me when he didnt know me fully. i have a formspring account and some people just call me whore/slut. i had no sex at all!!! i've been with 4 guys but we NEVER had sex believe it or not. My ex lives far like two states from where i am and he is coming according to some of his friends. So i am kinda scared. But he has a girl, however this guy is INSANE!!! HE WANTS REVENGE. That's why i carry a pepper spray every where i go in case he attacks or something the worse part is that he knows where i live. So i will wait and see what happens. if any attempt he makes against me i will file a restrainin' order. Be careful!!! Ex boyfriends can definitely be insane!!!
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (2 March 2010):
Uh, caring guy- if people thought before they hurt other people and said "oh, wait... I'll go to jail" our prisons wouldn't be over capacity...
You need to take this nut job seriously and contact a local women's abuse center and seek advice on a restraining order. He needs to be set straight by a judge. You need to make sure the school takes this seriously and have him (not you) pulled for the classes you have together. He needs to not have any contact with you and leave you, your family and freinds 100% alone... that includes poking you on FB...
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 March 2010):
 Go to the police station with your b/f to make a police report that he has been threatened by your ex .
This is to preempt any real threats or violence on your b/f.
If your ex were to assault your b/f ,then you would have a strong case against him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): Girl, I just got out of the same situation I almost even wanted to ask you if we dated the same guy! (But I don't think so, the dates don't match). My ex went so far as to threaten to kill me. One guy who he was insanely jealous of mysteriously died. (I get chills just talking about this) I know he had nothing to do with it because he was with me that day. But I believe in energy and putting bad energy out there is not good. Anyway, mine eventually left me alone because he met somebody else. He got lost real quick. These men just use people. Its not love that they feel, its obsession, control, they see us as objects. As much harm that my ex boyfriend did to me (I had to go to the police and relocate) :( I do feel bad for the guy because he is extremely sick. But as of now all you can do is WAITM that's what I did. Just wait, patiently, in hiding. And eventually they get over it and move on. He talked so much sh*t about me and it hurt me, I felt so alone and isolated (just as he wanted). But the reality is that the truth always comes out and the people stupid enough to call themselves his "friends" and to pay any attention to the stupidity of what he says are idiots themselves. Any decent person knows that an ex boyfriend who goes around talking bad about his ex is a scumbag. So don't worry about the opinions of those who can't see through that. However if you do not feel safe and think your life is in danger go ahead and get a restraining order. Otherwise just wait it out because as long as you ignore him he will disappear in due time. Sorry you are going through this and good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 March 2010):
I would suggest that first of all you tell your parents what is happening, just so you know your family are aware of it. Also, it's worth going to the police and trying to ask them for help. I don't think he will hurt your boyfriend, because he will end up in jail. I think he's saying that to scare you. And if worst comes to worst, get a restraining order.
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