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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: a year ago i had a baby with my now ex partner.we split up.After a while she had no where to live so i agreed that they could both live with me till she got somewhere else as i would never see my child on the streets. I have now found new love but my ex says that she will move out and i will never see the baby again if i continue with my new relationship what can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): Ouch...sounds like a very touchy situation. I applaud you for being a stand up guy and letting her stay with you when she had nowhere else to go. Unfortunately she may be very comfortable and unwilling to leave. You may have to talk to her and be very honest about what you will and won't do. Then you have to stick to your word. She cannot legally keep your child away from you. As the father you do have legal rights and you can take her to court (if you choose that route) to get them recognized. In some states, the fathers do get custody depending on the mother's situation. You could always talk to a lawyer, or a Legal Aid representative, about what your rights are, etc.
It's important that you don't make her feel backed into a corner. If she is panicking about being on her own or without you, etc, reassure her that you will always be there as the baby's father, and as her friend. But be careful that you don't put the baby in the middle.
Wish you luck!
A
male
reader, DocSilverback  +, writes (6 January 2007):
 Any court will tell you that you cannot hold a child as ransome. And that is what she is doing. You need to keep your child because the officials will never allow a parent to go out into the streets without a place to stay and care for a child. So, this would go in your favor. There is a child at stake. You are the one with the dwelling. Keep your baby and your new relationship. Your ex will find a place to stay. She is not your responsibilty anymore. Good luck with your new family. And do without the drama.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (6 January 2007):
 This is serious blackmail! she can not stop you seeing your chid as long as you pay financially. She's probably panicking and secretly doesn't want you to move on. Explain to her that you would never see her on the streets but you have moved on and suggest that you baby sit one eveining while she goes out you never know she may meet soneone too. Carry on with your new relationship she can not tell you who you can and can not see. You need to sit down and reasure her that your baby comes first and you will help her out in anyway you can, but stick to your word, she's always had you to help her out with your baby and is probably now afraid to go it alone. You need to sit down and talk to her now before things get nasty between you and your baby is stuck in the middle. Say your not going to finish your new relationship, and ask her how you can help her, and make things comfortable for her.
Good Luck
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