A
female
age
30-35,
*rump213
writes:So me and my ex broke up 5 months ago at first we were seeing each other and we were thinking about getting back together we have a son (1) yr n one on the way. We used to live together but everytime we argue he would leave the house take his clothes . It's been a month that we haven't talked and now he changed his number so we Dnt have no contact not even to talk about our sons. I love him but it's seems he's way happier. Has anyone had a problem like this? Some people tells me he will be back after my son is born? I don't know what to do?
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2013): Sometimes we can't be with the one we love, and sometimes the person we love is such a tw** but we can't draw ourselves away. The thing is you need to stop this downwards spiral of desperation after him- we've all done it, but really step back and look at this in a fresh light- your children are the most important thing here and need not only financial support ( from the FATHER, he has no choice in this) but also a stable environment that isn't strained;
For example if he comes crawling back, it would be very unhealthy for them to grow up observing how this "man" (or excuse for one) disrespects the mother of his child, I.e. his cruel, selfish and irresponsible behaviour, trust me from the sounds of this guy you DONT want them learning from him as an example ... And it really seems as though you have some abandonment issues of some sort- you're so scared of being without him but he the worst thing to fill the void, and you have your CHILDREN. Who would they lean on if they felt like you're feeling at the moment? You're their world.
Guessing you're guna get shedloads more replies- and listen to the 15 20 people that drum into you that he doesn't respect you or your CHILD, is a pathetic excuse for a man, and the crazy hard thing you have to do here is be so strong; you need to cut emotional ties, personal contact wi him and get LEGAL advice- for the financial provision of your children.
You owe him nothing. And whether he likes it or not he has brought a child into the world that he by nature's law has to provide for.
Xx
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 August 2013):
 It's unfortunate that the Good Lord didn't make it a condition that men GROW UP before they could spawn children.....
You have, evidently, coupled with a man-child who isn't worth your time or attentions...... so, chalk him up to a wreck that you don't want to stay around and hope to repair (the odds are long, anyhow!).... and stay away from him.. and you, and your two kids, get on with your lives...
Good luck...
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 August 2013):
I'd assume that he wants nothing to do with the soon to be three of you and proceed accordingly. That means getting a lawyer.
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 August 2013):
Having responsibilities for 1 child hasn’t stopped him being feckless and irresponsible enough to leave without giving you any means to contact him in relation to the child you have together, so I’m afraid I have to ask, what makes you think a second child’s going to make him any more mature and sensible? The short answer is that this dysfunctional relationship is over: you should try and establish contact because you have a child together and soon will have another, but for goodness sake don’t try and resume something that’s clearly a disaster.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2013): File the necessary legal documentation to get child-support.
He's happier having no responsibility for the children or you.
For the sake of your child and the one on the way, I pray that you are smarter than you come across in your post.
No, he has absolutely no intention of coming back; and he plans to take off for parts unknown. He has no respect for you and he doesn't care for you or the children.
Get that in your head NOW!
He left you with the full responsibility of raising the children on your own.
...............................
|
