A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my ex gives me shit about our past not in a direct form but she seems to say stuff relating to how i was. now i think she likes my best friend but i dont understand y she stills gives me shit about the past. i want to confront her about many things relating to our past and now in presently, but i dunno if i should go all out, and i dunno if i should bring up the past, because in a way i feel i have to but in another way i think i shouldnt because everytime we have to talk about it she just ignores me. we went through alot of shit i got hurt in many ways but from wat i see she thinks i was at fault of everything. should i go all out or just ignore it and not give a fuk like she aparently did plz plz plz i would aprreciate any help given and fast bkuz shes coming to visit
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): you should talk to her about it...it just sounds like she hurt about the things that you have probably done to her..but then again its really no excuse because she has hurt you too. you all just need to sit down when she comes to visit and talk thouroughly making sure theres no miscommunication..and that you all have an understanding that you wont bring up the past...If you cant get over your past then there certainly wont be a future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncalico forur question about how long weve been together thats the problem we havent been together for the past 2 years just that recently we started talking again as friends and she jsut brings it and i really apreciate ur help and for sures i will try to talk to her
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A
female
reader, calico +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Well, I think alot of us girls are the same in this way. Even myself. And as jacked up as it is, I think she may hold alot hurt or bitterness it sounds like deep within her. Maybe more than you even know. How long have you two been together?? I think this whole situation can be resolved but its going to have to be you, unfortunatly, to make that move. What ever she is still holding onto must really still be upsetting her. If I were you, I would find a perfect moment to pull her aside, when you and her have nothing else going on, and plenty of time to talk...and I would tell her very nicely and calmly how you feel. Tell her that if you guys are gonna be 2gether that its gonna have to change. If she cant forgive and forget about the past, then I would really question if its worth it for you to have to be going through the constant reminder of 'the past'. Its a take it or leave it situation. She can either deal with it and move on with you and be happy with you, or if she thinks its impossible for her to move on from the past, then she is never going to change her mind. And that is what your gonna have to find out by talking to her. Tell her that you want to be w/ her but the past is the past and you just cant turn back time. Tell her you wish you could, but its behind you guys now, and where the relationship is from here on out is all that matters... and that is the damn truth. So, find out, give her some time to tell you exactly how she feels... even though from your perspective it may be wrong and piss you off.... just sit there patiently and listen. And then make sure you tell her everything that is on your mind from top to bottom, and hopefully she will respect you too. Good luck w/ all this!! Hope my advice helps
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