A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am just curious, has anyone ever had a serious relationship leading to love after a one night stand or sex the first night you've met them? Is it possible for him to respect you after you did the deed?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advices.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 My husband married a one night stand - his ex wife. It was a disasterous marriage as they barely knew each other. He only planned it as a one nighter but she came back for more and he thought, why not, ive just returned from working abroad, have nowhere to live except parents house, and rushed into a relationship with her. When he threatened to leave as it wasnt working she said she was pregnant and then 'lost' it 3 days after the wedding. So I it could work if you take the time to get to know each other but I would be wary x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe reason i ask is because a friendship developed "after" sex. And i want to know if he's genuine & sincere, or just see me as a piece of meat. (using me)
The reason i did it was a combination of loneliness,(haven't had sex for a while after a long relationship ended) alchohol,(both of us were drunk)and amazing chemistry(almost a spiritual connection) and the fact i accepted it was okay to never see this person again. ( I was out of town)
I thought i would feel horrible and dirty afterwards but it was so nice, and i didn't regret it.
I'm regretting it now, because a friendship develop and i'm afraid he'll always think of me as the girl who gave it up the first night. And honestly, that is not who I am. I would rather walk away than have him not respect me.( i never call him, he calls me to talk)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): yes it is possible! - i had a one night stand nearly 3 years ago, and were still together now. we have a great relationship and are deeply in love.you have to work for trust and gain respect, just because you selpt with someone before getting to know them doesnt matter, how well do you really know anyone? a relationship is about learning about each other not about how soon you jump into bed
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (19 September 2008):
 I dont know if respect comes into it, but ive personally not had a long term relationship with someone i slept with on the first night. But i havent over analysed why that is. And these days i dont do 1 nighters. I personally think you cant go wrong getting to know someone before jumping into bed, and have a personal opinion for myself now that the next person i sleep with will be someone i have got to know and can see being in a long term thing with. But its easy for me to say, i'm one of those women that doesn't miss sex. Its definately a case of use it or lose it with my labido!
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Sure it is, and as said, it is possible to win the lotto. Just don't count on it.
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A
male
reader, shady2012 +, writes (19 September 2008):
 well if your asking in general, yes.
all a relationship is, is attraction at first sight.
so if you two people meet. have sex, dont have sex, etc.
they both know if they want to continue talking to each other or not.
if they do, and feelings get exchanged, of course love can form.
remember that you can LOVE anyone. ask long as you want to.
its special in its sense that its GREAT to LOVE. but you can love a rock
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Hi,
I am always confused by these type of questions. It's as though we are harking back to old days where women are seen as corruptors of men . So the women who "seduces" the man is therefore a slut/whore/unworthy.
Now its true many men think like this, but I always feel that if a man does then you are doing well to find out sooner rather than later that you have hooked up with an arsehole.
The question you need to ask yourself is why you slept with him on the first date? It is such an intimate act, and I feel when you meet someone you truly bond with you want to let that attachment develop before intimacy takes place. Sure, if you both can't keep your hands of each other then why not? But then it becomes more about sex than about friendship, which I believe is the crucial element in developing a close relationship.
But there are a lot of neanderthals who believe in the old ways so dont be surprised to get more than a few knockbacks if you do have sex on the first night. Though as I said before count yourself lucky if you do.
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