A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here is my situation:My bf and I broke up. We have a child together and a house. I moved out since I couldnt afford the mortgage and he could. He has this drug usage (weed to be exact) that makes him extremelly hyper and i couldnt stand being around him, which is one of the reasons why I moved out, since he refused to quit!After I moved out we slept with each other a few times until I finally had about enough because we kept going back and forth (fighting, then talking, then sex) and it was making my head turn. We were together for three years.One night, while broken up, he told me that he wanted to be with me and that if it wasnt me, he was going to be alone forever. Then i went over to this house to get my child and find a little notebook with his 'goals' by category (1 most important 2 second most etc) under #3 was 'Find a life mate - compatible woman' I mean I know he would move on but he wrote this at about the same time he had just told me he was going to be ALONE if he couldnt be with me!!We love each other, but he is still doing his 'thing' and I cant even be near him when he is high... Yet I hate being without him...
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broke up, move on, moved out Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 February 2010):
Ask yourself this one question. Do you want your child to see a drug addict? You know that no matter how much you care about this guy, he could potentially be a very bad influence on your own child. So for the sake of your child, continue to try and move on.
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Honey, I think you have to move on. If this guy refuses to stop his drug usage, especially since you two have a child together, he's being selfish and immature. He could get arrested for possession, get into a crash while high-and then, where would that leave you? Who knows, he might mature a little later and if you guys still have feelings for each other, it just might work out for good. But, his refusing to quit tells me that he is selfish and not ready to face the sacrifices and expectations that come with starting and keeping a family. Meanwhile, you can remain friends, maintain a decent relationship for the sake of your child. But, try and date other men. It might be good for you to find someone permanent while your child is still at a young age and more susceptible to accepting him.
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A
female
reader, forever friend +, writes (28 February 2010):
 tricky cuz u have a child together, the goal list was probably something he did to cheer himself up cuz realistically everyone wants love again eventually, he was probably trying to tell u in a diffrent way he does want to be with you rather than another woman , i think though weed addiction like smoking can be overcome depending of course if he wants to overcome it so talk to him about it without nagging cuz us women can come across like this sometimes :)but really try have a good heart to heart serious conversation with him about your future and ask him if hes willing to try again but he also needs to seek help with his weed problem because either way as a father he has your childs welfare to consider too not just his own selfish needs, hope you work it out , all the best
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