A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a really shy person when i don't know people very well, and often find it awkward and don't know what to say, I've heard that this has come off to others as me thinking I am too good to talk to those people but it's not that at all, how can I stop people thinking this of me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou see I'm not shy if I'm talking to people i dont really know in a group or if someone comes up to talk to me, and i dont mind speaking in front of a bunch of people, it's just if i go up individually to talk to someone i dont know well then i have no idea what to say so would rather avoid the situation all together
A
female
reader, waseema  +, writes (28 February 2010):
i went thru da same thing 4 many years,i was even 2shy 2ask 4 assistance in a store.U r still very young& i know it's torture,bt shyness is something u learn 2 over come in ur own way.Most ppl don't understand it cuz 2them speaking their mind is as natural 2them as being silent is 2us.Yes they'll judge u bt u'll find a few that will make da effort of finding out y ur the way ur &it's those 1's u stick 2.I am 30 now& ive been shy 4 20 of those years until i met my hubby who is da complete opposite of me,now im cofortable wit ppl..i will neva b able 2 pleaze a crowd tho.
Plz don't let this hold u back frm loving who ur u'll c with time ur 'fear' will mayb not 4gotten bt @least it wuld b comfortable enuf 2bear.
Best of luck
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Hi there. I know exactly what you are going through. I too have struggled with shyness all my life and often feel misunderstood by people. I often find it impossible to speak to people I dont know and talking infront of groups is like torture, I feel extreme anxiety. It is like a phobia.
The thing is, extroverts find it very hard to understand quiet introverted people. Speaking their mind comes so naturally to them that they cannot see from a shy persons point of view. They see quietness as aloofness, when in fact for a shy person it is the only way they know how to behave until they know someone enough to be able to open up. The thing is, unless you do talk to someone they will never know who you really are, what you think and feel and where you are coming from. So they will unfortunatly make up assumptions about who you are and why you dont talk to them.
What I have found is that the more I talk to people, the more comfortable I become talking to people. It's like getting over a phobia. Gradually expose yourself to what you fear and you will realise there's nothing to be afrai of. Gradually try to get involved in social activities and talk to people. It might be painful at first, but over time it will become easier as you build up a social circle. Make yourself say yes to invertations and go out as much as possible. Once people get to know you, they will understand where you're coming from and accept you for who you are. If they dont theyre not worth talking to.
A therapy that is known to be helpful for shyness and social anxiety is CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy. You could perhaps ask your doctor about this.
Hope this helps :)
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A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 I did a very fast google search and found this link that might be useful for you...
http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/shyness/tips.html
At the end of the article, there's a section named "Tips For Overcoming Shyness."
Hope this helps.
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