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male
,
anonymous
writes: My daughter just got married. How do I deal with the fact that I’m not the most important man in her life? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 Are you very close to your daughter? Is she your only child?
I think that father and daughter relationships can be extremely close and I know that my father is very important to me. He hated the fact that I moved out just after I turned 21 and decided to live with my boyfriend. My father said he would disown me if I ever lived with a boy, he never did btw.
I think that the fact that your daughter has now grown up and has a man to look after her does not mean that she does not need her dad. All girls still need their dads and you will have to try and adjust the way in which your relationship with your daughter progresses from here.
We always need our dads advice and protective arms no matter how long a new man may be in our lives whether we are married or not. I was in my relationship for almost 20 years and I have a 5 year old daughter but I have never not needed my dad.
You are obviously at the point now that you feel you no longer have a role in your daughter's life but that is just not the case. She will obviously need to settle into her new married life and don't cut yourself off from her. Don't always expect her to make the phone calls but also don't be too overbearing either.
A married couple will probably need help in all manner of ways and suggest a lunch or meal at yours or going out at some point.
Do you approve of her husband?
If you get on then see it as gaining a new member of your family and not losing your daughter as I am sure at some point there will be grandchildren and grandad is always the one bouncing the grandchildren on his knee and being a real favourite so give support and approval and not too much judgement.
Keep yourself busy and make sure you have a good hobby or try something new, it is not a replacement for your daughter but if she sees you constantly down and upset then it will be a guilt trip for her. If she sees her dad being productive she will want to know what your up to.
Keep strong and I wish you good luck in still being very much a dad to your daughter. There is always 2 different loves for our partners and our parents but no less importance.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, ..x..Lauren..x.. +, writes (12 April 2006):
 YOuve got to let go at one point.... and right now it may seem shes pushing out of of her life but shes only just got married so shes happy and excited.. but as soon as she comes back down you and her will get on just fine again, hope i have helped, update me by leaving me a message :) ..x..Lauren..x..
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