A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I come from a screwed up family. My father used to physically abuse me and my older siblings and mum. A couple years ago, he was jailed for molesting 2 underage girls. My mum divorced him, and I thought we wouldn't ever see him again. Now he's started visiting my house, trying to come back into the family. I have decided that I want to cut him out of my life, but my mum only divorced to keep the social workers happy. I know she will let this sick man back into my home when I am 16 next year!what 2 do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): I'm homeschooled, so I have no teachers or even friends to talk to. My mum is always in and never lets me go out alone. My dad is always calling her- being controlling and manipulative but pretending to be nice. I'd like to just talk it over with my mum without involving the social services; how can I do this without her shouting at me?
P.S. Thanks for the help. You guys are awesome.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 February 2009):
I very much doubt that he should be around you. If your mum divorced him so she could prove she was a fit mother to the social services then she is hardly keeping her word on that.
Call them if you are worried and tell your mother that you will ask to be put into care if he gets back into your life.
She is free to be an idiot and take him back, but that doesn't mean she gets to keep her children as well.
Call child line and social services and get help. You are under 16 at the moment so take full advantage of the fact that there are lots of people being paid to make sure you are in a safe home and can provide you with one if you mother fails to.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): You are in such a horrible situation, and I know how you must feel about your mother 2, she is suppose to want to protect you, keep you safe from the boogie man but instead she is inviting him in, and it terrifies you, because you’ve had your fare share of pain from him, you’ve seen her being hurt, and you want her to want better for herself and her kids, and it hurts to feel that she doesn’t, but I am sure you understand the emotional and mental implications of being in an abusive relationship, some woman build bonds with their abusers, physiological bonds that’s not so easy to break, speak to your councilor, see if you can arrange a family therapy session, or perhaps they can point you in the right direction, but she needs to hear from a mature adult who knows what they talking about, what this will do not only to her but to he children, abuse is horrible, and its not love and it will never be love, it can be disguised or excused could be make, but its not what you deserve, and she deserves better, some woman are so damn scared of being alone that they will rather stay with the abuser, so try and get your mom help try and get her to speak to someone professional to help her heal and then she would be able to heal you, do not hate her she has been abused to, and sometimes people forget that, they don’t realize how abuse affects your logical thinking,, seek help and heal your family you have the power to save her and yourself. Good luck and please please keep us informed
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 What are his requirements with being around children. I know in the U.S. people jailed for molesting children are barred from having contact with kids between a certain age, and if they break their requirement, they can go back to jail.
Now, this is about your safety. You may be only 15, you have the right to be safe.
If I were you, I'd speak to a counselor at your school. They might know what options you have there. I wish I could help more, but I'm not familiar with your legal system.
I hope this helps. Just keep in mind, you deserve to be in a safe place. Take care.
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