A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Im sick and tired of my dad blaming me for everything. Im one of 3 daughters (the middle child) and every time me and one of my sisters have an argument no matter who started it I get the blame and 'banned' from his house. Last month, my older sister and me were arguing. She lashed out and attacked me, yet it was me that got thrown out and banned from my dads house. I havent been talking to him since, but I miss him and feel lonely without my family around. I know if I try to talk to him he wont see my point, usually he refuses to see my point, which only ends in more arguments. So for an easy life I just dont talk to him. But Im really lonely and depressed. Dont know what to do?
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female
reader, Cheeks  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Are him and your mother still together? I'm only asking because the first thing that popped into my head after reading this was maybe you remind him of your mom, more than your sister(S) and if he's bitter about anything in regards to her, you could just be catching his shit he's stored up for her. That is just a thought. I don't have many suggestions on how to deal with your fathers attitude other than try to keep it neutral, don't throw blame around. Maybe ask him "is theres anything I can do differently to help us get along better?" Or "How can we avoid this in the future?" I wouldn't say WHats your problem or anything like that you know. Its rude. All I know is my dad would probably laugh if I came at him demanding an answer to why hes being a jerk. And I wouldn't have any better luck if I came crying about how hurt my feelings were either so the only way I could approach the subject constructively would be to level with him and throw all my petty resentments aside and stick to the facts. Unless your dad is such a dick he won't hear you out at all, the it's worth a try. I hope it works out for you. Good luck
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Families can be very difficult! I suggest that you write him a letter stating how you feel...it gets your point across without the need for an argument. If you really don't get along with your siblings, don't see them. You can arrange to see your father when they are not around. You cannot make him want a relationship with you. It is sad that he doesn't want to know you but families can be complicated sometimes. I have a difficult relationship with my mother who could test the patience of a saint. I had a huge row with her a few years ago in which she refused to speak for over a year! We have always been volatile and clashed. However, I have come to realise that with age she needs me to be around. I have therefore come to tolerate her 'funny little ways' for the sake of family solidarity. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. You can then arrange your contact time with this person around safe subjects that are not so likely to cause tension. I think you should try to make contact with your father. He maybe too stubborn and proud to make the first move but you will be the better person for at least trying! If you at least attempt to reconcile then you know that you have tried your best. If he continues to ignore you then there is little you can do.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Am sorry that i dont have any other answer for you but all you can do is try and talk to him. Its the only way forward here. If you and your sisters dont get on then arrange to go and visit your dad at different times so he doesnt have to witness his daughters fighting.
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