A
female
age
41-50,
*b6471
writes:I am married and a month ago I was gonna get a divorce but we talked let our feelings out he promised to change and so did I. We were doing good but yesterday we had an argument but instead of being a simple argument he exploded telling me I've haven't changed and throwing things in my face that I opened up to him about. we also had family problems, we decided to forgive them, for myself I needed to do this my brother said angry things to my mother and makes stupid comments his niece put us down but in his eyes she said the truth so it's ok but we forgave everyone so I thought. Later he admitted he new what buttons to hit I'm trying really hard but I don't want our children to think someone you love can treat you like this i know every marriage has problems but what should I do? he says things that are very hurtful I'm trying here. He is also trying but we had one argument and will have more I'm I supposed to expect this every time we've been married for 10 years together for 12 years do I keep trying do I give up or try?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 November 2010):
 If your problems are out of your hands, you can't seem to get anywhere it's best you seek marriage counseling..before your marriage is beyond repair. It's best to get a third party observation in a calm setting where you can freely discuss your problems. Now, marriage counseling won't solve all of your problems, the hardest part is talking what you have learned in counseling and applying it to your married life. Tap into this source, it's very useful.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): First an foremost is the importance of Your children. Their welfare and both of Your responsibilities to them. You should go and see a marriage counselor. And keep trying to keep Your marriage together for the sake of Your children. Don't give up just yet.
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A
female
reader, Franny Girl  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Hey,
I really think you should try to keep this going, Think of all the good times?! im hopfing the good over weighs the bad, talk to him about things you LOVED to do, things that both really interested u both, maybe? go out to your fav resraunt, set it up as like, a first date, start fresh, do things new and try as best as u can to not get angry at him, if its him that is getting angry at you, then try and not get washed up in the fight, try deflate it.
if hes like, all up in ur grill, dont shout back at him, say your sorry straight away, hug him try kiss him, anything to get him calm, tickle him just like the good ole times, you know?
Maybe, if things still really dont work out, get relationship counsilling, this could sort things out deffo. just remember, your not alone, you will be fine, dont dispari, 10/12 years is a long time, dont waste it, you can do it girl!!
Keep your head up, keep sex life good, keep EVERYDAY life even better, and most of all, YOUR a women! YOU can, DO THIS!
good luck and my best wishes
xxxx
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A
male
reader, Latino201 +, writes (7 November 2010):
Hi. I can only give you advice based on my own experience. I have a 17 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We were together 11 years and were both very angry and fought all the time. I can honestly tell you that change does not come easy, if you've tried for so many years, the fact is... you are probably not right for each other. There might be too much pain there and too much negativity. This also sounds like boarderline abusive. I don't believe in the "staying for the kids sake". As you are well aware, your kids are in their learning years and are already being exposed to this very negative relationship, which they will carry for the rest of their days. Your children will be better off seeing someone who is strong enough to take them away from a bad relationship and has the courage to start over.
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