A
female
,
*llie6
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and we are always falling out with one another. We don't see one another very much (for 2 hours on some weeknights and all day Saturday) but we just ruin the time we spend together because we argue over the most stupid things.He's not brilliant at communicating in front of my parents and says stupid things without thinking about what he's saying, and things like that really annoy me. I know my family don't really like him which makes it a bit awkward, and they're waiting for us to split up.However, I don't want to split up yet, but I feel unhappy most of the time when we're together, yet as soon as we're apart I miss him so much and can't wait to see him again. Another thing is, he is constantly telling me he loves me over and over and over again. I know I sound ungrateful, but it's ALL he ever says to me and we never have a decent conversation about ANYTHING interesting. All we talk about is how much we love one another, and it's getting boring.I want to be challenged and have an interesting conversation for once. I've told my boyfriend how I feel, but he just gets mardy with me and continues to tell me he loves me a million times a minute. Please help...
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (3 April 2008):
If you carefully read back your own letter, you and he don't seem to have very much in common. Although you may miss him when he's NOT around, when he Is around, all you do is argue and you get bored. It sounds like physical attraction, not true love. You need to be with someone that you can have a relationship with, someone who is growing in the same direction along with you, with the same hopes and desires. This doesn't really sound like anything but puppy love on his part, and attraction on your part. If he is awkward and doesn't have much of a filter around your parents, it's kind of showing up his immaturity. Like it or not, we all want a partner who impresses our parents. You may not like the fact that your parents are sitting around waiting for you guys to split, but they have been on the planet for a few years longer than you and know you better than anyone else. Perhaps they see the writing on the wall; that you aren't really suited to one another. If I watched my daughter get embarrassed, spend all of her Saturdays fighting with her young boyfriend and being not challenged and bored, I'd probably want her to get a new boyfriend too! You don't seem terribly happy about the relationship, only that you miss him when he's gone. I think that you love the idea of having a boyfriend - perhaps maybe not this boyfriend under all these circumstances? You sound like you might be younger, I hope that you did truly want to hear an outside opinion after having written in. I know that this may seem a bit harsh, sorry not to have sugar-coated my answer. You sound like you are troubled by all of this, and I think that it's wise of you to be reflective about your own choices in your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): My boyfriend is just the same so ill be looking forward to some answers so i can work out what to do as well. I always try and start a conversation with him about something he likes which usually gets him going a bit, but it is very hard and frustrating. He keeps on saying hes just scared of saying something wrong and losing me!!! Good luck xx
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