A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year. He treats me really well, and has even quit smoking for me, even though he does not want to. And I mean, it must be for real, because I smell it at his apartment/on his breath if he smokes there and I know people at his workplace that would tell me if he smokes at work. He also complains about it so he really is doing it.However, I innocently found pics of his ex-girlfriend were still on his computer. I was writing a word doc for work on his comp, and I clicked on the wrong "recent items" thing. He welcomed me to use his computer, so I don't know what he was thinking there. I don't usually snoop. So he was looking at them recently, and moreover, they weren't hidden, they were smack dab in his main documents folder. This really really depresses me. I then did more digging and found that he searches for her profiles online and saves these pictures, about once every week or two weeks. So these pics aren't even from when they were together! So I haven't confronted him about it; I don't know what to say. It really hurts that he has told me, unasked, that he is completely over her and doesn't even want to see her ever. My trust in him is gone, and I doubt his actions toward me mean anything, although, like I said, he is really good to me. Why would someone do this, and what do you think I should do about it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Wow, that is interesting!!! I have an ex that I stayed in communication with after our break up. He moved to another state about an hour away and stayed in contact with me. I got tired of holding onto him and let hime be for about 4 months. I then saw him about 2 months ago in my state, I was totally shocked, he told me he still loves me. We started talking again, he finally told me that he started dealing with someone and has to handle his business with her first, so I told him I would wait for him. He is a good man, and one worth waiting for in my opinion. But, I too wonder what is happening on his end as I wait. Damn, this is so ironic, not to mention that this man still sends me messages about how he loves me misses me and all, yet he's still plotting how to break someone else's heart. I would confront him if I were you, men have to come clean, and let him go. If he is yours for sure he will come back to you. You have to learn to love someone enough to let them go, if he says he wants out, grant him that, because he's not the one for you anyway! Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): If he is honestly trying, give him time. He might still be getting over her. During the first few months of my wonderful year-long relationship, I still found myself trying to look at my ex's facebook page every once in a while. It's that "attachment" issue at large here, and it takes just a little time to get rid of-hopefully. I decided to make a conscious effort to stop, and I did. Maybe you should somehow bring it up-but not in a way to make it look like you are snooping-and see if he'll do the same with his ex as he did with smoking.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 March 2010):
Ask him why there are pictures of is ex that are recent and see what he says. Confront him.
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