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How long will my intense pain from this loss last?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 March 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2010)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I have emails from the love of my life and this will explain my dilemma. I am a 47 year old women a little damaged emotionally by past experiences; but pretty well recovered. What I want to know is how long will my intense pain from this loss last? And If you guys think he ever will return to me and show me more respect? Also, why he quit the contacting me he once did and making the excuses why? Did i do the right thing? Any help will be very appreciated.

I sent to him when he was supposed to come spend the evening with me and he made another appt after we had ours and he failed to call at his usual time and made an excuse.

Dear HIM

I quit, because I can not stand this intense pain anymore. I truly do not blame you. With my situation it is too hard for a man to fit into it. I sadly understand. I just do not want to feel these sad feelings. I can not stand it. I want some relief.

I will truly miss you forever because I love you and feel Jesus put you in my heart, I wish I could have been better, and that you needed me and could not stand life without me, but I respect myself enough to know when someone does not want me and I am backing off. You just did not understand what you where getting into and when you did, you changed your mind. I forgive you ______. Also you just got too busy to include me, the way you once told me you would. What happened to we will talk every chance we get. Maybe not lies but close. Love you always. Take care and enjoy your love affair with your music and our Lord Jesus.

Love always me

Dear me from him

I'm sad to know that you are very upset. I told you that I want to include you in everything.

Last night I was ___________. after that I had to _______________. I didn't get to bed until 1:30 pm try to plan the event.

I don't understand why you quit. I really don't. I'm sad and hurt also but I believe I've tried to include you for this saturday to be with me. But I know you work. That is understandable.

I don't force nobody's hand but I do love you, but if you feel that we should be apart I will understand. I will miss you a lot. I wish you didn't say this to me. I know I'm a different breed, but I know I care a lot. I will bless you and continue to pray for you as well.

I just wish you could understand as well what I have to do in life. I can't believe what I wrote to you. I'm hurt but not angry at you.

Love

Him

Dear him from me

________, you could have just called me. You could have shared this with me. You know this. You chose not to. I am a very understanding person and I did not know any of this. You have neglected me. It is always easy to keep in touch but you chose not to. If you really cared for my feelings you would have just called me. Even just to say you were sorry and try to do better; even a different breed in love with someone would want to share their life experiences. I shared everything with you. Mind, Body and Soul. I gave you everything! but looks like you will make it look like I have ended it. Thats OK if that is the way it feels better for you. All I know is that I did not have to work tonight and was hoping inside that you would make more of an effort to make me feel like I was really wanted with you tonight and I would have gone with you. I just do not feel it inside. Even with church, I just do not feel your strong desire for me inside. This is why I need to back up. I told the Lord Jesus that if He ever brought someone to me I would feel this desire for me. It would be so strong that I would be secure in it. You do not have this for me anymore. You once did and that was what made me believe again. Because of this desire I gave you everything. I want it back now but it is gone. I deserve this desire from the man that loves me. Funny I feel like my heart has been ripped from me because of the things you wrote and promised me. It is going to take me a long time to recover from this. I am just glad that you were not as invested in this, and you will be fine. This is because I love you and would never want to see you suffer like I am. I will not be OK for a while. As I said before death would be inferior to not being able to touch you again. I can feel again and I hate It. Have a wonderful life my _________. I thought you where the Love of my Life. Now I feel like my very existence is pain and tears. Love you always

Then I looked up an old email he wrote me and sent it

This is the man I gave my heart to, you wrote this to me, guess it was the way it used to be. I can never and will never trust another man again. God as my witness!

If by any chance we don't hear each other on the phone tonight we will definitely reach each other in the morning if it's ok with you. By this weekend I'm making changes in my life to accommodate your needs. I do want to serve you from the heart. It's funny a man wanting to serve his woman. That is a blessing all by its self. And it's my calling.

View related questions: affair, I love you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks to FierceBadRabbit I steped back for a little while and me and the loveofmylife are back together talking about a future. I am so thankful for your advise, you have a gift, in that you do not look at the negitives in a situation; instead you pick out positive. When you excused him for not being attentive and just running out of time that was the truth and you saw that. Also, I do want him to be whole and have a life besides me. Now, since this has happend and I discussed how I felt, he has called me every day. I told him that this is not necessary but he does anyway. Thank you again.

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