A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have had a crush on my teacher for a year or so, and every day I look for an excuse to stay in his classroom. It's odd because some days we seem to have interesting discussions, and other days we just do our own work. From time to time I see him stare at me, but I guess it is just to make sure that I am still alive. I have asked him if he finds it annoying that I am there every day but he says it is fine with him. So often do I hear from my friends how pathetic this is, but I can not help but to like him so much. I do not know what to do, I wish to forget him, but its hard. I have been asked out by different guys, but I just can not feel the seem way towards them. It's so saddening that many guys say that I have all these great qualities, none of which my teacher has noticed. So, just wondering what to do about this crush?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ithinkheknows +, writes (22 March 2010):
Im going to be honest.
Many of your answers before me are nice, but they know what the real answer is.
Smarts
A little of being cunning and the occassional coincidences wouldnt hurt. Like accidently dropping your cell phone in front of him and all that fun stuff.
Just dont over do it. Just have fun with it. Go ahead and play your cards right.
A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 a crush takes time to pass but it does help if you try and focus your attention on other guys even if you dont like them you may grow to like them and it will help you get over your crush.your teacher may look at you but not in a crush way teaching is his job and im sure he wouldnt do anything to jepordise his career its his duty just to teach you not to find out your good and bad points i mean his probably in a relationship himself and you shouldnt be looking at men that much older than yourself.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (12 March 2010):
It's not that your teacher doesn't see your good qualities.I'm sure he does. Be honey, he can't do anything about it. He CAN'T. 1. he's your teacher. dating students is not allowed. 2. He's a grown man, you are a girl. He sees you as a father sees a daughter. He needs to teach you help you learn, look out for your well being... not date you. 3. you don't know his personal life. he may have a wife or girlfriend.
Think of your crush on him like a crush on a movie star. Never going to happen. Stop hanging out in his classroom. that will help. focus on something else. I'd say almost ALL girls your age have a crush on a cute teacher at some point. You will get past it.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 Ah, crushes on older men...I remember those. As long as you're not doing anything about this crush and as long as it's not interferring with your studies, you should be ok.
But it does seem to interfere in a way, doesn't it? You probably have a crush on him because he's very mature when compared to the guys your age, he's got life experience and he's in a position of authority. Perhaps that's what attracts you.
I guess you just need to think realistically about this. What do you want to come of this crush. If you want to be involved with this man (which I don't advocate at all) you need to realize that will never happen. If you just want to get over it, then tell yourself that you have probably built this idea of him in your head that no other guy your age can even come close to.
And you have to realize that him having discussions with you, looking at you sometimes and generally being nice only means he's looking after you as a student. Unless there's more to it (which I think would be inappropriate) don't take these things to mean much.
So what can you do? Realize that nothing will come of this and that you're probably wasting your time and missing out on meeting and getting to know guys your own age. I don't think this is easily done (I had a huge crush on my phys ed teacher once upon a time, the man was a god lol) but try and be logical about it. Ask yourself 'what do I really want here?' Is it attention, his approval, involvement with him? The ask yourself if any of that is realistic or in the case of a relationship, whether it's appropriate.
I'm sure this is nothing bad...and you'll deal with it fine in your own time.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (12 March 2010):
 You recognise it for what it is, a crush. You know it can never happen. If it ever did he would loose his job and never be allowed to teach in schools again.
You have to start mixing more with boys your own age group, is there no one else you have a crush on?
Find someone or something else to focus you attention on.
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