A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:please dont juge me ok so i was around 7 when my 13 year old cusin came to live with us and before that we didnt really know each other about 3 years after living with my family we would flirt with each other and then we moved on to oral sex then when i was around 12 we actually did it and we did it one time a week for about 3 years and i stated to like him more then a cusin anyways when he came to live with us he was a trouble maker but then he started getting into church and he meet a girl from ther and they starter secretly going out and i started to get jelous but we still did it every week and one day i told some one about every thing we been doing and that person told other people and then people from my family found out .im 14 now and he was 20 wen he got kicked out the house and i really miss him but i have a feeling he dosnt care about me and he only wanted me for the sex its been about a month since ive talked to him and i would think if he cared not only as a sexual relashonship but as cusins he would still try to keep in touch and before he left he told me he loved me and it wasnt my fault and we will see eachother when we see eachother but i dont no if he ment it ..well by what you read can you tell me if it sound like he cares and wants to still have any kind of relashionship.please help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey i just wanted to thank you guys who anserd my question it made me feel alot better and let you guys kno how im doing so its been about 6 monts since ive seen and talked to my cussin and ive been thinking about him non stop since every thing happend and i was wondering should i hate him for putting me trow all this are be happy that everything ended and if i wanted to start a new relashinship with him how should i do it. and do you think he still thikns about it or me.
A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 14 and 20 .. sorry but seems like he has been using you .. and even if he did/does care this is not even legal and you are way too young for this , just move on as much as you can
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A
female
reader, noonespecial2  +, writes (12 July 2009):
Hi there,
I understand that you have loving feelings for your cousin and that you are feeling pretty down and lost without him and really want to know if he still cares about you.
I don't think anyone judging you is very helpful and if they do, then you are better off away from them.
Having sex with your cousin in some cultures is considered to be what they call incest (having sex with relations)and it is against the law. That would be why things have ended as they have with him being kicked out.
I believe he would care about you as his cousin yet is probably confused and has some problems that he needs to sort out himself.
Everyone needs to feel loved romanically and you felt he loved you this way and this made you feel special. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved and special yet it's better to have this with someone who is not a relative and who wants a relationship with you.
Talking to someone about this would be good for you. There are telephone counselling lines, lifeline and kids help line and they are great people to talk to, they really understand.
I think because you didn't really know him when he came to live with you can make you feel that it's ok to do this because sometimes you can't help who you like.
You said that he was a trouble maker and that he was secretly seeing someone else yet still having sex with you. This would be why you feel he doesn't care for you, because if someone cared about you they wouldn't do this.
I can understand why you think he was only after sex with you, it seems that way to me too.
This is only what I think and I could be very wrong. I think you will get the truth and the answers you want from a counsellor. They will know if he still loves and cares for you because they deal with these things all the time. They will be able to answer that question and they are great people to turn ask because they are so easy to talk to, they don't judge you and are people you can trust.
There are free counsellors that you can see. If you phone kids help line, they can tell you where you can go to see one for free.
Good luck.
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