A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Complicated... I am in a relationship with a veteran police officer. This relationship sucks. We started off while he was married, (yes it was wrong) and he left her to be w/me. Problem is ..to me..he's obssessed. I am not sexually interested in him because of his weight and behavior. He has confessed to putting a loaded gun to me 2x's while I was asleep and once had a rifle pointed at me (outside my bedroom window) and someone else in my bed (Boyfriend and I weren't serious, he was still w/wife). Thing is I want to leave him for many reasons. He has told me that he has to start seeing his pyschiatrist (it's ok to see one) and his psychiatrist wants him to start coming in weekly because he (the psychiatrist) thinks my boyfriend will commit murder/suicide. He bought me many things and as a fool, I inhaled them all. I remembered my dad when I was younger saying, You never get something for nothing." I have kids and don't want anything to happen to them or for them to be w/out me. I don't want to jeapordize his job but...I know that he won't just ...leave!I want to separate amicably... as amicably as the situation allows. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): thank god his wife is rid of him. your affair with him actually did her a favour. at least one good thing came out from this mess.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Sgtressed in Texas please see the medical counselor at your work ASAP. If he loses it you know you're dead. You've said as much already in your post so get on with it. It is totally confidential and if they see the warning signs too they'll help you diffuse the situation or get relief somehow. Remember that by doing this you'll set a precedent that you were worried about your relationship imploding so they'll have to monitor your situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): All that you all have said is true. I hate this. I am so good at giving other women support/good answers, but I stall. I mean,I work at the 911 communication center where they dispatch him from. When we argue, I fear sometimes that he will come in the center & kill us both. He tells me that I am over doing it. He is upset that I don't want to have sex w/him. When I asked him why would he want to Force me to have sex when I don't want to w/him (though he doesn't do it now)...his answer.."BECAUSE you aren't taken your medications and that makes you think differently. (I am bipolar, but stopped taking my night meds that knock me out when I do fall asleep) & he was jacking off (sorry) over me. I laid there, almost paralyzed w/disbelief, fear & embarrasement.) He finished doing that, quietly got out of the bed, went in our bathroom, warmed a washrag & gently wiped me clear of the evidence. He got back in bed & turned his back to me (as we sleep on opposite sides of the bed).. I confronted him much later & he claimed it was only 1 time. I don't believe that. If he lives, I will have to struggle again, which is OK w/me. I'd move to another house or an apt if I had to. It sounds crazy to be afraid, he used to be on swat, but i think that the "february story of when he was at my bedroom window" got back to the supervisor. Not sure, he never mentioned it. I'm going on & on, & I apologize. I know that I will never marry him but I hope that my "distant behavior" from him will cause him to leave on his own. ..Thanks for even taking the time to read this..
Signed,
Sgtressed in Texas
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): http://www.nowpublic.com/world/police-officer-shoots-ex-girlfriend-norwegian-kinderganYour situation sounds deadly. Heed the others advice and report him/make yourself scarce.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): If he has murderous intent, he should never be a policeman, so have NO qualms about reporting his behaviour to his superiors.
He will be constrained from seeing you again, so you have no need to worry - nobody should have to live in fear.
It has often been said that anyone who actually wants to be a policeman is temperamentally unsuitable for the job!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 August 2009):
 Get together a safety plan. You can find a sample one at http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/plan.shtml and fill it out for yourself. Then run away, as fast as you can, and don't look back.
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A
female
reader, Twistedbaby420 +, writes (9 August 2009):
 I urge you to locate a nearby domestic abuse shelter/agency as soon as possible. They will help guide you through what you need to do to protect yourself and your children.
PLEASE DO NOT WAIT TO DO THIS!
Be sure to tell the agency that he has confessed to holding a loaded gun to your while you've been asleep (this is clearly abuse), and that his current psychiatrist is worried he will commit murder/suicide. This man is very unstable and your family isn't safe. Do not downplay what he has done or make excuses for his behavior. Do not worry about jeopardizing his job. Look out for your family's safety, first and foremost.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (9 August 2009):
 I'm thinking your best bet would be to start stashing some money away and when you have enough, pack up your things when he's at work, get on a bus, a plane or a train and move as far away as you possibly can. But carefully think out your plan because if you leave any clues, he will find you (he's a cop) so be very careful and I hope for your sake you can get out.
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