A
male
age
36-40,
*acchris
writes:can any body help me with this ugly situation?well it all started when i was 14 back in the school i notice that i like guys and enjoy chating with them all the time but during that time i never know exactely what is wrong with me i thought that is normal but i was wrong until am about 16-17 before i found out that am gay and during that time i love to see sexy guys around me all the time and i love to make friends with them but almost all of them seems to be straight and some of them do have girls friend too,am still a virgin then and never attract to have sex with girls instead i always thinking how to have sex with guys but my big problem is my religion and the community i live in does not allow gay people again my dad is a rev pastor he wouldnt like the idea....he is a clergy man and so much attach to religion practice..am afraid what wil happen if he get to know that am gay i don't want him to know i want to stop thinking about guys please advice me on what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): hiYour father has chosen his pathway in life and you must choose yours. What is true to you and not others.You can not live your life to please others no matter who they are. via con dios.
A
female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (12 March 2009):
Religion and community play a large part in many peoples' lives and can make it very difficult to be yourself as this often means moving away from your family and community. The good news is you are not alone in having this problem. Even in the most anti guy environments there is a gay movement. Try to find out where these are in your region.
Also as suggested already, study in another country you will then be able to explore who you are.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, macchris +, writes (12 March 2009):
macchris is verified as being by the original poster of the question another big problem with me is that almost those that are attracted to me are seems to be straight guys, i like sexy straight guys so much but i don't like female guys and i don't wish to move with them infact i hate their way of behaving as am a muscle guy and looks straight and no body knows that am gay except myself and my god.
am 22yrs and i don't want to be gay as i believe that one day it might disgrace me definitely, i want to be staight!
if there is anything i could do to stop thinking about guys i'm ready to do that even though i never like girls i will start practicing to like them or else i stay on my onw than to become gay as it might destroy my life and that of my family plz help
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (11 March 2009):
 It may not be safe for you to out yourself where you are. For now, keep it secret and learn some self defense techniques just in case. Your life could be in danger.
Next, look to moving to a new territory that will have a community that will support your sexual orientation. Once you are there, you will be safe to explore your feelings.
-Frank Kermit
www.franktalks.com
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A
female
reader, uluvme0723  +, writes (11 March 2009):
 You are who you are. If you choose to like guys then that's it. I don't feel you should keep hiding it. If your father is a man of the cloth, he should be understanding. Plz do not let anyone tell u being gay is a disease because its not. When you make ur desicion make sure you do what makes YOU happy. Good luck
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (11 March 2009):
 Honestly, the only suggestion I can make is that perhaps you try a "study abroad" program where you can go to another country that is more accepting and figure yourself out.
You have a tough choice to make in life. Do you want to lie to everyone and pretend to be heterosexual and live a false life? Or, do you come out to them and risk being cut off completely by family and friends?
You need to evaluate what in life will make you happy, and follow that. It's not an easy decision, and there isn't a whole lot any of us can do to help you, sorry.
I wish you the best of luck, and we're all here if you need someone to talk to.
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