A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Going to try and keep this short and simple and its a minor issue but I kinda need some advice on it. I am currently re-taking my GCSE's in college, not because i'm a failure, but because i'd prefer to get more GCSE's than go on to something more difficult straight away. My GCSE class is challenging to say the least, some people don't want to be there, others see it as a social club, some people are just there because they have to be, and overall i'd say about 8 or so people in the whole class genuinely want to achieve something. That doesn't really bother me too much, its their futures and they can choose what to do with it. But what does bother me is some of the offensive and nasty opinions which come out of there mouths. Everyone has an opinion, and I am rather good at accepting peoples opinions, but sometimes there is a line from where it goes to being an opinion to pure ignorance and just being really offensive. I am finding myself each day getting more and more angry and I am worried that its going to get to the point where I can't control it. I am doing Sociology along with the rest of the class and its a very wide and opinionated based topic, everyone has different opinions and thats the way it works, but today we were looking at crime and the reasons why people do it. One of the causes was mental health problems, and of course you can imagine everyone started spouting off about how its not an excuse, if you have a mental health problem you should just deal with it and shut the f@ck up about it. I myself have Bipolar, and I just found it so hard, because none of them understand it, none of them know how it feels but they can sit and point fingers. Then someone deciding to laugh and giggle and say how dealing drugs was a victimless crime, which was just not right, I told him about how people die everyday from taking drugs, or taking drugs with other things mixed into it, and he naively laughed it off and said its there choice. I saw his point but is everyone so iggnorant and unable to see people are driven to take drugs, as people are driven to do really bad things? Is that so hard for a group of teenagers to understand? I got so frustrated I have had to withdraw myself for the rest of the day as I can't sit and listen to people commenting on things which they have next to no idea about. We will be covering suicide soon and I do not feel I will be capable to sit with them as that is the one topic which I cannot deal people slating those who may of tried it. So my questio n is how on earth do I deal and approach this?
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female
reader, Questing for Love  +, writes (7 February 2014):
 I agree that sometimes classmates don't necessarily KNOW how to respectfully express their opinion, but it still is their opinion. I know I hate it too but you can't let it get to you. I too took opinions to heart and had a breakdown over it. (lots of anger, a whole lot of crying, etc.)But I have to realize that people are always going to have those opinions and there's nothing I can do to change that. It's a common problem that people often do not think before they speak and thus risk offending someone or hurting someone's feelings. Which again is what happened to me. But like WiseOwl said, you can't take it personally and burden yourself with the brewing anger. I know it's difficult but just try to stay calm. Take deep breaths and try to maintain a steady voice if you feel the need to respond to someone's comment. Just don't stoop to their level. (no name calling, swearing, etc.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2014): I understand your frustrations; but you are taking the negative opinions personally. You should be listening with an open-mind, and learning. That's why you're there. Right?
You shape your own opinions, and reinforce your advocacy for the right things; by listening to all opinions. People are very much entitled to speak as they feel.
You are talking about a room full of inexperienced teens.
Not tenured scholars.
Many have very little understanding of much of anything; and that's what higher education is for. Enlightenment.
They are also listening to your opinions; and will learn from the opposing opinions of others.
Often people collected in a room; if given the chance,will vent whatever they can just to get things off their chest. They don't always get an open-forum to express how the feel. Right or wrong.
If your mediator or professor says nothing to limit or censor opinion; he or she is happy to know people are participating. Then they know where the deficiencies lie; and they will properly inform the ignorant. Some people talk out their backsides, they shouldn't be taken seriously. You must consider the source. A jackass sounds like a jackass.
If you are bipolar, a certain degree of your sensitivity is going to be challenged. You are exposed to the wear and tear of daily life. That is part of the challenge of trying to function in spite of your disorder. If you feel the anxiety starting to take it's toll, you should remove yourself from that environment, before it makes you sick.
Your discomfort might also mean it is time to take your medication; if there has been a long-time since you've medicated.
Your therapy was prescribed in the event episodes should spontaneously arise. It might be a good idea to tell your therapist how you feel. They can offer an opinion, if the atmosphere within those classes my be too much for you.
Maybe only because there is just a lot more hostility than necessary. Negativity is a sign of general frustration; so people are taking the opportunity to vent. You have to realize they are also pressured under college-life too.
Find yourself a "safe-place" when you feel things weighing on your nerves. These are only opinions, they are not personal-attacks.
Your best approach is to listen, and learn as a student should. Feel free to voice your objections; rather than sitting and stewing over what you disagree with. Try to main calm, and speak your mind. That's what it's all about.
We aunts and uncles don't always agree. However; we respect each others advice and opinions. That is what you should be learning to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2014): they're teenagers, and very immature ones too. they dont know how to deal with such things and as you've said, they just dont understand. next time they say something about bipolar, tell them that it really hurt ur feelings. talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. you are the good one, your acting mature towards it. these people in your class are weirdos who have no manners. i have this partially sighted friend and in our form we discuss things like illnesses and mental health, and some people laugh in front of her face that shes blind. the other day, one immitated her. he tried to act blind, and he smashed in to a wall. he said, "thats what happens they're blindos." she talked to a teacher and that guy said sorry. the teachers organised a lesson talking about it helping people to understand some of the illnesses a bit more. maybe you should talk to your teacher to organise something simular, 'mos those people need to learn how to react these things. gud luck, i hope this helps x!
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