A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My co worker that I'm friendly with would always invite me to her church and church related activities. She got really pushy and told me not to disappoint God...that it is for my own good.I never had any interest until one day I decided to just see how it is like since my other co worker who also attended the same church has recommended I attend their church. They all promised that I will enjoy itThis was a big mistake because she started expecting to start attending her church as she would constantly invite me.I had no intention of going back,so I always had excuses such as work etc.I was hoping she would drop it but she is always sending me a reminder to attend church every Sunday and church related functions.Today I decided that I should be straight with her so I sent a message that reads"Hey,To tell you the truth I'm not a church person at all.I only came with you that one time just to see how it is and I had nothing to do so I figure out why not.Needlessly to say,I was bored out of my mind the whole service .I have zero interest in church. I never had any intentions of start going regularly. If it was something I was truly interested in, I would already been going on my own or at least volunteer to come along .You wouldn't have to drag me or keep reminding me.I'm a grown women who can make her own choices you know. Please don't invite me to church anymore.thanksshe responded the next day and sayYou didn't have to be so rude.I thought I was just being a good friend"Noted: Jesus still loves you, church or not.Have a blesses new week in Jesus name.Amen. I wish you the best and hope someday you will be convinced. I responded and apologized .I let her know that I like her as person and not to take my unwillingness to attend her church as an insult to her. I hope will can still be cordial towards one another when our path cross
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 Honestly I don't think you where rude, I hate when people push their religion on to others, at the end off the day you are a grown woman and can make up your own mind just like others. If the friendship fades now then it was never meant to be, but at least you got your point across.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): I think you just reached your limit of her constantly going on at you. She didn't take your hints that you were busy and so you ended up just saying what you felt. In hindsight you might have worded it slightly differently but actually I probably would've still been a bit annoyed and pointed out how rude it is to force your beliefs on someone without considering their feelings on the matter!You're right, probably best having friends with similar beliefs. I find it wonderful that people can devote themselves to a belief but they have no business in mine. You have done the right thing by being honest so at least now you can move forwards and probably just stick to being acquaintances.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (6 March 2017):
 Lots of people with different beliefs are good/best friends, but they don't push their beliefs on each other.
You don't need to say it bored you, just that you have no interest and will have to block communication if the religious messages continue. There's a way to be clear without rudeness. At least it's over now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): I always just say thanks but I don't agree with organised religion . If pressed i will
Let them know I like to connect with my God or Goddess in
My way and don't feel the need to explain but thanks for the invite . All said with a lovely big smile of course . End of subject
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your insights
Also She would always hand me religious pamphlets at work and forwarding religious images, videos and Christian inspirational quotes on WhatsApp
In addition, whenever I bring up a problem in our personal conversation at work, she would always say, don't worry, Jesus will get you though this then she would preach about God and how important he is in our lives.
I just did what It takes for her to get off my back without leaving any ambiguity .I think I'm better off with friends who shares the same beliefs as me anyways
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): I had a friend who would always make me come to help her at her campaign office that she would work at for a man that was running for mayor. I didn't like it and she kept pushing, so I understand. I think it was maybe a little bit harsh when you said "You wouldn't have to drag me or keep reminding me."Needlessly to say,I was bored out of my mind the whole service " and "I'm a grown women who can make her own choices you know. "The tonality comes off as mean and you could have said it differently. You have to just say "Honestly, I appreciate the fact that you want to include me in something that gives you great happiness and adds to your life, but I just can't seem to enjoy it that much, I'm just not that much of a church person. I hope you won't find it personally offensive, as it has nothing to do with you, but I would just prefer to not go anymore; it's not for everybody. Thank you for understanding." I'm sure you didnt mean to come off harsh, as a lot of people, when they get heated have a hard time being softer in tonality.
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A
female
reader, Campari Milano +, writes (6 March 2017):
You probably did if come across a bit brash, but with good reason. There is nothing worse than people trying to force their beleifs on you; espescially when 'it's for your own good'!
You have apologised and explained. You realise that you may have sounded harsh, but you were obviously driven to it.
I hope she accepts your apology and you can remain friends without any church shenannigans!
If not, that's her choice.
It is always right to say how you feel. You had let this drive you crazy, so when it came out, it boiled over.
How can you ever be friends with anyone if they make you uncomfortable?
Well done for saying your piece!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 March 2017):
 Good grief!
I can not stand when people "pimp" their religion. You handled it better than I would have.
We lived at some point near Seattle WA and CONSTANTLY had people come knock on the door trying to get us to join their church. There was an earthquake and one of these people had the GALL to tell me it was "OUR" fault (me and all the "unbelievers") that it had happened. It was God's way of telling "US" that we needed to go to church. I don't think I have EVER been so disgusted in my whole life.
I'm all for people having their OWN beliefs but when people start pushing THEIR beliefs onto others because they calling or duty, they STOP respecting other people.
You did fine. And I would just tell her IF she starts to "guilt" you into doing this again, to STOP. Don't let her go on and on. And don't feel like you have to make excuses.
While she might believe she is doing God's work or good things for YOU and "the big guy upstairs"... all she is doing is make Christians look narrow-minded and judgemental.
Just nip ANY conversation that pertain to YOU going to church in the bud, EVERY time. Maybe in time she will stop.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2017): I really think that these pushy people are the rude ones. I think you're quite right to point out that you have a brain and a mind of your own and are capable of making your own choices just as she has made her own choice to follow this path. If I think about it, I would never in a month of Sundays give people reminder notes and keep on and on at them about anything! I would feel the same as you, annoyed and I would let them know. If they didn't like being told how I felt.....too bad. They brought it on themselves. The way she has behaved towards you has created this friction, not your unwillingness to attend her church. That is a right that you have and you should not feel pressured to do things you don't have an interest in. If you remain cordial towards her, well done! She should be apologising to you! I don't like controlling people .....just in case I hadn't made that clear!! :-)
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (6 March 2017):
I think you were a bit rude by saying you were bored out of your mind, but you've apologised, so let it go.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (6 March 2017):
 What is your question?
I understand your initial response, religion is not for all of us, and your final apology offering an olive branch :-) should help in making sure your relationship remains cordial when you meet each other.
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